whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

As a wise man once told me... "natives."

why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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