How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

What break when you talk?

Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

[] i have read and agree to the terms of service Nope

What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

no really what are ur names?

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...