What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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your social life.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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no

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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