How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

Knock, knock. Come in.......

whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

Penal Dysfunction

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

What's worse than a baby in a trash can The holocaust

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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