How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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I told my friend the best anti joke I've ever heard in my life the other day. He didn't laugh. He is autistic and doesn't understand humor.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You toss him a flotation device.

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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