What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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stuarts mum

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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PyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyong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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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96

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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