A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

thumb_up thumb_down

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

thumb_up thumb_down -16

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

thumb_up thumb_down -16

who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops