- Anti Joke

I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy!!!!

larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA gargle" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."runs JOKES KILL >:}

1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

why cant fat people walk because they are fat

Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

why?

What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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