Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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