What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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look left ------------------------------------------------------> i bet you failed.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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If you send someone fudge, you should write them a poem with it Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge!

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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