Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You should never talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -9

you see theres this guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I Have a Black Friend

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops