What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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what do you call a white guy on a bus load of blacks guys? probably his name...

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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