What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

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what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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2 women were sitting quietly.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

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Gary Busey walk into a bar. Everyone Ran out noticing the potential danger.

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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