Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

What's purple and glows? An electric grape

If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

tim has no humor

How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

69...you know how awkward this is now...

what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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