what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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Penis.

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What's worse than Bieber fever? Yellow fever.

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

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YEAH THEY DO.

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You and your parents are going to die today

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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