A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Jayden Eccles

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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men's rights activists

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MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Wanna here a good joke?

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whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

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I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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