lick my ballsack.... ok

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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Why was the mom happy cause her daughter had an abortion

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Lol (wow, I am using that a lot... BAAAD!) Anyway, yeaaaah, you thanked me for being who I am, this rush of happy drugs from the body is totally a sign of taking insult... Funny, I am not much of a endorphin person otherwise.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a hispanic guy are standing before a cliff. They proceeded to take lovely pictures.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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