Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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Rick santorum

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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