What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock, Who's there? Woodpecker. Woodpecker who? Woodpecker.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who jumped off a bridge? She died.

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whats worst then being raped tortured and killed? it happening to 500000 puppies DX

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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