You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

thumb_up thumb_down +24

so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in the street? 11 babies in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar gets hurt and falls over

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

thumb_up thumb_down -63

a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did Bella fly? Very badly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's white and horny? a unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops