What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Female Athletics

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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