Why did the chicken cross the road? Two Girls One Cup

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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antijokes

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops