Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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Guess What! HI!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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