Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,605

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +28

i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

willam dafoe

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 6's family

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops