How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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George Bush.

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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