there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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DANA

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Two tigers, walking down Oxford St. One turns to the other & says, "Quiet for a Saturday, don't you think?"

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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yo mama is so fat she is 1 candy bar away from dieing

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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