What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why has the suicide in dentists decreased? -Due to the fact that being a dentist makes suicide redundant!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

thumb_up thumb_down -10

All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Asian women drivers...

thumb_up thumb_down

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops