A duck walks into a pharmacy and says to the man behind the counter, "Do you have any ointment? my beak is very chapped" the man replies "we have nothing for ducks here."

thumb_up thumb_down +118

How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What comes after 69? Mouthwash

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +84

knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guess what? You guessed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats better than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was watching this movie..... its over now.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops