So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

thumb_up thumb_down -21

President Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down

give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

thumb_up thumb_down +2

pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +14

O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops