If life hands you lemons Take them

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar

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What did the catholic priest say at the AA meeting? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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eden stop

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A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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