I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

thumb_up thumb_down

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +49

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So there are 2 ninjas in a dojo, The first ninja turns to the second ninja, and says something in Japanese

thumb_up thumb_down +89

What? Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops