Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What's big, wet and yellowish-green at midnight? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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A man with Alzheimers favorite thing to read is the first page of the antijoke book

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Being a Japanese person in Hiroshima on this date.August 6, 1945

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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fabien

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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