Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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Dislike this, and I kill myself.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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I read the terms of service.

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poop

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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Why did little john fall off his bike? Somebody threw microwave oven at him.

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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