What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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