every knight i see an owl at window

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Pickles

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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Q: What would you do for a Klondike bar? A: I would make the slightly onerous journey to the local grocery establishment and pay my hard-earned money to procure a dessert which I quite enjoy.

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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agp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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