What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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12 in general

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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Where's the dick??? east

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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