What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the cure of cancer? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats Black and hangs from a tree? A Tire(:

thumb_up thumb_down -13

God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What you reading? reading?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Simon says; "You're adopted."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The Sentence Below is True The Sentence Above is False

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops