A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

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You're so ugly, When you look in the mirror it displays you're reflection because that is what mirrors do

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Rozes r read Vilets r blew iy cahn noht spell becuase i am blind.

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A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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where is madeline macam? hiding is mjs cubord

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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