Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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why does the guy jack off to black on black porn? because he's black

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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