Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 magnum and murdered her violently.

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A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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A tiger walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gets him a drink because he would rather not get vigorously consumed by a mighty beast.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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