Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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What did the bully call the box? a square, needless to say the box was offended

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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THe Election

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops