what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

thumb_up thumb_down +5

5 people are walking

thumb_up thumb_down +17

the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

p

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops