What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Your momma's so fat, she's at risk of a number of cardio-vascular problems, including high blood pressure, leading to heart disease, stroke, type II diabetes, and a premature death. She also has an elevated risk of contracting cancer.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Steering Wheel Face.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are in a car and the car crashes and blowes up who dies? They all die cuz they all were in the car when it blew up

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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Once, I went to Peru.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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The.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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