What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Look at your hand. Made you look!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Yee

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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