What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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What happens when you breed a Siberian Tiger with a California Condor? Nothing. The tiger does eat the condor though and you are found out by a neighbor and charged with animal neglect, animal cruelty, and possession of two endangered species. You are fined $100,000 and go to jail for 5 years during which you are sodomized.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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Why did the man die? He was old.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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