I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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Yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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Women.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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