Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Thats what she said

What can hitler cook well Steak

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

What's white and sticky? Glue.

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

Hey man. what? squidbillies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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