When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.????????

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A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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