Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures.

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? He had his legs amputated. He'll never ride his bike again.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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Patriarchy.

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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