Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

thumb_up thumb_down +13

(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats dumb and small? dandruff

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

thumb_up thumb_down -8,995

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops