Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

what did the asian father say to his son after seeing he got a B- in math? "There's small room for improvement but overall you did a great job son."

Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

Q:Why did the man have a lot of Hoes? A: He was an experienced Agriculturalist.

im a selling a car

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

Chinese drivers.

Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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