Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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flavin's head

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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One night, I walked into a bar. I ordered a few drinks, and left later that night.

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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