-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Pianca going ham

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

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what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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