A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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