a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

You're so ugly, When you look in the mirror it displays you're reflection because that is what mirrors do

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

Knock Knock. Shut up.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

What's 6+2? 16

it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

who ever is reading this....

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...