Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?' The horse says "I was just diagnosed with testicular cancer."

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

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I read the terms of service.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Hi

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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