What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock. Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

But officer, I did come to a full stop!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Weed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops