Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? So he can eat it.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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lewis=cardiac

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

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Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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vaginas

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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