A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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this last joke was a correction to the other one

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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