Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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