100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the creepy old man do to the child? Took him to baseball practice

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some men like Cheese, I have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops