What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Knock knock

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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