What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

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Oh...okay, good.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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hi

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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knock knock come in !

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knock knock. no one's home..

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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