All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down -50

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

how do you get a taco? Buy one!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

69...you know how awkward this is now...

thumb_up thumb_down

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops