A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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Ring ring yes.This is doctor steve and we got our test results and it seems that you'r son has butinites and you'r kind sytoms are nothing because he is just an ass.

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? The police, your family were killed in a bakery A German bakery.

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I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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