I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

know whats funnier than 24? 25.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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