Make little things count Teach midgets math

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why did the the black man die? Because he had an incurable disease.

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Keep up the fun Nero!

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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