Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

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When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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What's big, yellow, and can't swim? A school bus.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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