My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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17

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Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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why are you reading this? You are bored out of your mind and don't want to do you're homework. and now that you read this, you will realize what you're doing and will now get back to work.

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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i fondle myself every night....

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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