Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

69

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

thumb_up thumb_down +95

What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

9001

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops