My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

68

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Asian person drove home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Who's there

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops