How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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