A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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So a rouge names creampiiemaker was walking in the vast lands of the arathi basin when a night elf druid with 585 stan and a resil rating of 6750 asked yo bro you wanna duel, the rogue asked with a grin on his face if the night elf was kidding, they then shook hands and went out to gold shire, village and dined on porridge made from the finest vendor, they then warsonged it up all night for mad honor points and got lap dances in gold shire tavern.

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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