Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -3

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

hey, my names mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats green and lives in the water

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Mike tyson

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do u shit With ur ass

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

thumb_up thumb_down +158

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops