What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Whats the difference between an American and a Frenchman? The language they speak.

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Yo mama so ugly people don't like to look at her.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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I told my friend the best anti joke I've ever heard in my life the other day. He didn't laugh. He is autistic and doesn't understand humor.

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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What is more funny than 8 babies in 1 bin? 1 baby in 8 bins.

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whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

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A man gets home from work late at night and his wife is already asleep. Then he remembers that he forgot some important papers and has to drive back to work to get them.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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