Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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Why did the cat lick the black guy. Because the cat thought it was dirty.

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what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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9001

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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