Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

Why are anti-jokes so funny?

Who lost World War II? The Jews.

Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

Good for him. Thats wonderful!

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? Depends.

What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

Look whos talking Matt Critchley

What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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