What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like cows, Cows are cool

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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