If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Q:Why Did the Black people die in there car A: They were Homeless

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

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What's blue? The sky.

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Bill: Did you hear about the black guy that went to college? John: No. Bill: me neither...

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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