what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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LET

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Two black guys are seen running out of a convenient store. They've just received word that two planes crashed into the twin towers, both their sons worked maintenance on the 73rd floor.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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Badabing.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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