Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

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Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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fack me in the ace! CC

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

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what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

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Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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