What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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Why? Because.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What is white and is sometimes drunk? Milk.

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Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops