Ching Chong Chinaman sitting on a wall. Along came the white man and greeted him hello.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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wanna here an anti joke scroll down

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Keep up the fun Nero!

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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