Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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You're a big fat monkey.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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yo mamas so poor she should probably consider finding a job

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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