Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yidi Huang lives here.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's 9+10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did nike say to addidas? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops