your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

thumb_up thumb_down

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops