What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Giovanna Plowman.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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When is a door not a door? When its ajar.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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what long green and bumpy? a pickle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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