A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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Matt is not funny.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

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What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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