Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

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Punchline.

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A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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alert('The Game')

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate poems Penis.

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eloise dey.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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