roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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school homewrok

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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A brunette is walking up the side of a river. She sees a blonde on the other side. "How did you get to the other side?" asked the brunette. "I used the bridge just a few more kilometers up" the blonde replies.

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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Blacks

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How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

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A woman had a dream. She followed this dream and completed all the goals she had set in life and was excessively happy. Then she woke up and her original suspicions were confirmed...it was a dream.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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no.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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