who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do black people and apples have in common? They are both fruit... except for black people

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hrih

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops