Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Knock Knock Not Yet

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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