What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

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A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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What the hell are you doing?

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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