Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life throws you melons... ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -2

THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is a bad thing to see and is attached to a boy's body. The middle finger u dumb ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

thumb_up thumb_down

What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats funnier than 24.....25

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops