How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you kill a Jew? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -154

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is a black man's favorite fast food restauraunt? Varies.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Are you gay. No. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops