Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

knock knock? come in

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

What's the difference between a male dog and a female? One is a bitch. There are numerous other differences.

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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