What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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What does water smell like? water.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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What's worse than losing the remote Finding it in your ass hole

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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