In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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How do racist jokes start? Generally with a racially insensitive stereotype.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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