Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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pup

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Canada

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What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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Q: What do you do when you see a half dead black guy on your front lawn? A: Call the ambulance because he is dying

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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