What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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women's rights.

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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Women's rights.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

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Lets Go Lakers!

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What did the peanut say to the jelly

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Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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