What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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