a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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whats white and gooy liguid goop

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first one.

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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