what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops