Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the mosy hardest game in the world? The Impossible Game.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happen? Idk...

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

thumb_up thumb_down -13

so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops