Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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Obama = ebola

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy are stranded in the middle of a desert. After many days of not finding food, water, or shelter they contemplate cannibalism to survive, but can't decide who to eat. The mexican dies first for an unrelated reason

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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i like men but im not gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops