This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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