An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down -1

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's the difference between a pile of shit and a human. a human has a mind, a pile of shit doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -2

MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

thumb_up thumb_down

A kid has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

thumb_up thumb_down +55

There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops