Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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a black person was walking into his home. good thing balls like apple juice and Miley Cyrus was keeping guard with her sword.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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a woman gets hit by a motorcycle whose fault was it?......... the man's, he shouldn't have driven the motorcycle in the kitchen

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the sahara dessert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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