What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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Whats the worst part of Chemotharapy? The Cancer.

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Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Why can't you fly? Because Chuck Norris said so.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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