What is worse than hell?

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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What's clear and wet? water

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Multiple Personalities So do I Me to Don't forget about me!

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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