whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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A man walks into a bar. He recieves a concussion and dies of internal bleeding 3 hours later.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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Transformers: Shadow of the Dark Risen Monday. The Autobots starring in more explosions, more random fighting! Zero narrative nor explanations! One constant explosion trough the whole movie! But do not worry! Did you believe that the final battle versus Optimus Prime and his evil Dimensional counterpart Optimal Evilus would be the ones fighting at standing at the end? NO! This is far more exciting! 16 year old Nick is seeking the love of his life in the 42 year old grandmother Mirabella Torres, and ends up proving his love by pushing the button that instantly kills Optimal Evilus`s ultimate form Evilus Supreme! "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Honest reviews. "Yeah we love it that part where Optimus Prime forgets who is fighting and beats the shit out of Jazz and his totally non racist MonkeyBot Obamabus, seriously, this needs to die" Transformers lovers. "You gotta love that scene where Megatron starts blowing up his own allies because explosions!" Transformersmoviefans.com. "So why did Optimus Prime refuse to kill his Evil dimensional brother thing? I mean he was from another dimension, why did he go around like "NO HE IS MY BROTHER IN SOME DIMENSION! YOU MUST INSERT THE SPARK INSIDE ME DEEP INSIDE ME NICKY! DEEPER!" People Magazine. "So this time they just made the Decepticon`s weakness a button so small only a human can push it huh?" People... Just people. "MY EAAAAAAAAARSSSS!" MICHAELBAYGAVEMEPTSD.ORG. Moral: Wow it says skynet is watching all the time now at solvemedia, unexpected considering the first thing I posted was the terminator XXXV thing. So, is it some sort of easter egg feature? I mean I would not believe myself if someone told me that.... Which is actually what makes this kinda creepy...

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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why did my girlfriend get pregnet? i didn's use a condom, and my semen entered her long muscular tube, also known as a vagina.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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