why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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