How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

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Wanna hear a joke? WNBA

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

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Q: What do you call a black man in space? A: An astronaut. -Ap

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You

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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A white man walks into a bar. He stabs 4 people and 1 escapes with extremem blood hemorages. his fanily later finds him bleeding on their family car. They take him to the hospital where he is put on life support. Later that night they are told there is nothing the doctors can do and the man slips away in his sleep. Who is to blame? The black guy in prison.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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