What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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Get in the van

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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Women rights..

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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Why is this site popular? Because people don't read the terms of service.

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what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Obama

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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child labor

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Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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The BCS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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