A blonde girl walks into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

thumb_up thumb_down -54

there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Dumbledore dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why dont they make black forks

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops