A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's green and has wheels? A refrigerator, I lied about the green and the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

thumb_up thumb_down -10

David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -31

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops