Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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FIRE!!

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Solely for our entertainment purposes.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

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why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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