Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one. he was an electrician

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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zx

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Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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guess what?

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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you

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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