What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

thumb_up thumb_down -36

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Six and seven are numbers, and cannot feel emotions such as fear.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats worst then dieng in a videogame

thumb_up thumb_down -29

People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops