What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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What do you call two black guys on a bike? Unsafe operation of a bicycle.

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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