How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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you just read an anti-joke

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Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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this last joke was a correction to the other one

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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whats water and frozen? an ice cube

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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