What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

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What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

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thats what she she. no really thats what she said

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like anit jokes and those who don't

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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What do you call a girl with no arms or legs on the beach? Sandy What do you call that girl tossed into the water? Sandy Duncan

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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