What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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dj miky

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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