Two arabs fly into a bar.

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What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. He's not really a chicken, he's just called a chicken because he is always afraid.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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