Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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all the kids had fun

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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