What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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Rock, paper, scissors, ebola

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Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the sahara dessert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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A Muslim walked into a bomb shop. Turns out he was in the wrong store so he left and went on with his day.

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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