What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Bill: Did you hear about the black guy that went to college? John: No. Bill: me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

thumb_up thumb_down -19

so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Stop being a centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Thank you for helping to save the animals. You may send your donation as a check to "Anti-Joke" at 555 Main Street, Anytown, CA.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

thumb_up thumb_down

Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops