- Anti Joke

I saw a dog pick up a dead bird with its mouth. Crazy cause the bird had ants and maggots all over it, it smelled bad. Well anyways the dog drops it, and he stares at it for a few seconds. Then another dog comes and tilts his head. I'm guessing he's confused and is like "why did you pick that gross thing up? " So they both leave the bird there, in the first dog's owner's backyard. (He was on the cemented porch, not the grass. Just so you can picture it better) Okay well the two dogs go to the park, hoping to get some action with other dogs. Yeah, they were out of luck. There was no one there cause it was Christmas Eve. Who goes to the park on Christmas Eve? Do you? I know I don't. So the two dogs walk out of the park, heads down because well they're sad. On their way out, they see a dog with a bird in its mouth. They keep going because the dog was ugly, heading to the neighborhood going to the first dog's owner's backyard. They take a sip of water from the stainless steel bowl, munch out on some dog food. The dog food was from a 50 pound bag of dog food, it had all the nutrients and vitamins and minerals dogs need to be healthy. Oh and the brand was Iams. Pedigree is for owners that obviously don't care for their dogs cause Pedigree sucks. The owner of the first dog bought the food at the nearest PETCO for around 30$ That's crazy. 30$ for dog food. That's a good owner spending good money on his dog. I would do the same. So when the dogs were done eating, the first dog looks for the dead bird. (The bird the first dog had picked up at the beginning of the story) Turns out the bird is missing. Where could it have gone? The two dogs look everywhere. Then after 20 minutes the second dog says "Hey! We're being clumsy. The third dog had a bird exactly like yours! " So they run to the park hoping they'll find the third dog. He wasn't in anyone's sight until suddenly a familiar voice coming from behind says "Looking for this, Bimbos? What fool would leave such a delicious bird like this in their owner's backyard? " The first dog says "Hey! Give me back my bird! " The third dog refuses. So they begin to fight. Then the second dog snatches the bird And runs away with the bird. The two fighting dogs are still fighting till they notice the horrible stench is gone. The second dog isn't anywhere in sight. That shit cray.

a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

get on your knees and make a donut face:)

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in the street? 11 babies in the street.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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