knock knock who's there me i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Woman's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -14

ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

knock knock who's there? faith

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,103

You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do black people eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

thumb_up thumb_down

A man was caught cross dressing by his wife. She divorced him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So. The gays. ...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -22

your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops