what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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You copy and paster!

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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