What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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why did the man drop his ice-cream cone? He had no fingers, he lost them in Vietnam while he was protecting our country

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Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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