What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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why did justin go to maddie parris house to fuck her.....

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

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Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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