What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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69 :)

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? reading posts on this website that arent antijokes. Seriously poeople... you cant just say something that random than put something tragic. it has to be funny and tragic.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

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Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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