What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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