Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

thumb_up thumb_down +38

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

thumb_up thumb_down +24

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,068

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops