Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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BWAT

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Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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How would you rule?

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

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Hi.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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