An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

America

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

Corn Muffins

Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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