http://richardfigures.com/

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

try slamming a revolving door

What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

Here's a joke, a black man walks into a store and buys something. that's it.

Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

BOTTOM!!!

what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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