How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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I have a horse.

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YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID, she was recently diagnosed with severe mental retardation and will have to be cared for 24/7

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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So does Blake

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There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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