what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Why does girls have two left feet and two left hands? Because girls have no rights.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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