Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? With design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process.

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Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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