Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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*you're

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she believes in god. God isn't real.

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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