Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

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How do you divide 3426 by 78.6? With a calculator

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Nobody likes you.

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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What's Terry short for? He's missing a leg.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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