Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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hey guys im gay

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anti jokes are for fags

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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hey, my names mark.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

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what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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