What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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I'm banging your sister.

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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9/11

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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Libraries.

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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