A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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A duck walks into a bar and is quickly shooed away because it is unsanitary to have a duck in a bar.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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roses are red violets are blue you should have been aborted

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Toaster

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a cat? You can't. The current state of genetic engineering will not allow avian DNA and mammalian DNA to be combined.

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Santa isn't real

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What's cooler than living on the sun? Everything, because the sun is the hottest entity in the entire universe. Plus, who'd want to live on the sun?

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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