Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

What's worse than being a jew in the holocaust Being born black

Whats 9 + 10? 19.

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

What's red and green? A frog in a blender

Justin Bieber hits puberty

A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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