Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

knock knock. who's there? ya ya who? dot com

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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