How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

Snooki want smoosh smoosh

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your carmel apple, which costs about 35 cents more on average.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

You know what's funny? Clowns.

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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