Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lighbulb idk, you cant see its dark

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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Your mother is so ugly that she looks like you.. :)

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops