Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Me Neither.

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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I was watching this one episode of mighty morphin' power rangers ......and i realized i got trapped in the 90's.... THANK YOU BOOTLEG TIME MACHINE FROM .....EBAY......it's always ebay.....

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OIO

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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