-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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