Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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boobs

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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c:

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? A family friend paying a visit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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