How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

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how do you make a orange juice. get orange juice and pour it in a cup.

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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raping black women

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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