A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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