what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The holocaust.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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osama bin laden is dead

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

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Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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