1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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nickel back

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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What do you do when you're bored in Manhattan? You buy a minigun, enchant it to have limitless ammo, and then shoot it for one hour straight, killing innocent pedestrians in time square while laughing hysterically. Or maybe that's just me

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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