What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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What do you call a sheep with big teeth? Mitch

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Not mine I want no credit...these were made by two genius's What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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What did the lion say to the Octopus? Nothing, lion's can't speak. And even if they did, the chances of one ever encountering an octopus are very slim.

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why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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