Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

WEED!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

69

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the man sad? His wife left

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops