Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops