Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

Knock Knock Who's there Bannana O He lives next door

Two women were sitting in silence.

A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

69

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody actually knows this because the chicken could not tell us why he/she crossed the road so it would be nearly impossible to get the answer.

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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