Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

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If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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