what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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