When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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canada

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Hi

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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