What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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