Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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