Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

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Knock, knock. Come in!

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

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When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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A Jew, a black guy, and a redneck are walking down the street because their car broke down a few miles back.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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