A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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whats 2+2? 4

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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What's up? Your time.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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hey

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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