Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

thumb_up thumb_down -35

whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 murdered her little sister

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

once upon a time, it snowed

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops