if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops