When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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What's worse than the unwarrented death of six milliion Jews? The death of six million and one Jews

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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