What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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13

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Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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