Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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all the kids had fun

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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why couldn't the Mexican get a job? because of the multiple racist jokes gave his ethnicity a bad name.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops