how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

Wanna hear a joke? WNBA

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

yolo your orange looks orange

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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