What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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I'm banging your sister.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white, and Pansies are pink.

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies. One is used in the sport of bowling, and the other is just a tragic, very saddening sight to see.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh.. Okay.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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What do you tell a woman with two black guys? Domestic violence is a crime. She should leave her abusive partners and seek help.

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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