Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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There was a man from Dundee. who's limericks always ended on line three. I don't know why.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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purple pickles

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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8

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Try this on someone... go up and say "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start" there response "Ok, knock knock" you say "Who's there?" They are usually dumbfounded and a hilarious awkward silence ensues

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Your Mom.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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