A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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