why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens are very absent-minded creatures. the chances are the chicken saw some form of bug or other edible life form from across the road and decided to venture over in that direction. if the road was not there, the chicken would most likely have still crossed that same expanse of ground, regardless of potential consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,357

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy are stranded in the middle of a desert. After many days of not finding food, water, or shelter they contemplate cannibalism to survive, but can't decide who to eat. The mexican dies first for an unrelated reason

thumb_up thumb_down +1,676

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two parrots were sitting on a perch. The older one turned to the younger one and said "do you smell fish?" The younger one paused for a bit, and replied "do you smell fish?" Their owner had been talking about fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

thumb_up thumb_down -13

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is so hot your daddy married her and they lived happily ever after

thumb_up thumb_down +149

42

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops