If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops