Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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tim has no humor

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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