How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

thumb_up thumb_down -33

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops