-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Todd is offered a pizza, chinese food, and a sandwich. he then kills himself because options trigger a psychological disorder that was diagnosed to him as a child

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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Hi

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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verry nice how mUCH?

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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