The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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What's worse than cancer? Death.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Once upon a time.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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