What do you put your key on? A key chain.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

thumb_up thumb_down -13

this is stupid .... yep

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +143

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +5,711

Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

thumb_up thumb_down +9

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jesus was a good guy

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

U ALL LIAK DIK

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A bus crashes and everybody dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An old woman and her grandson arrive at the hospital, only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -664

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops