Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: Nooooo! Darth Vader: Yes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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What does? 42

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why is the man laughing. he isn't, he's just been informed he has testicular cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Charcoal is black, So is my neighbor.

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping out of a plane? A world record sky diving group, and an improbably large aircraft.

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You're welcome!

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What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

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What did the catholic priest say at the AA meeting? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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What's big, wet and yellowish-green at midnight? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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(Put joke here)

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air.

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Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

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What do you call a black guy who is selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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