What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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What's black and buried in my backyard? An African American, I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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So a seal walks into a club...

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Worlds first anti joke.

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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