Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

thumb_up thumb_down +3

-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -12

SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Here's another:

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops