i dont fisish anythi

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Why was the woman crying I kick her in the ass really really really hard... With steal toe boots... That had a spike on them... That was biped in poison... And man did she scream.

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How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

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A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

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Ken wins!

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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When do you know when to stop making anti- jokes? when your done with your joke and click submit.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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