What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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balls

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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