Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy? You're skinny

thumb_up thumb_down -28

i hate black people

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what has the same importance as mothers day? fathers day

thumb_up thumb_down +3

(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A muslim is working quietly in his 3rd floor apartment complex bedroom. ~~~~ He's been working on high explosives for 8 months now, preparing to kill innocent people.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

thumb_up thumb_down

What's upside down? umop apisdn

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was crossing the road it tripped on a rock. When it was getting back up, a bus went through a stop sign and ran it over. After suffering for 3 weeks in an animal hospital, the chicken died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,387

chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops