why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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SNICHOLS AND DOOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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