Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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What is your view on school violence? I'm all for it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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Matt Damon

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What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

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A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Yo mama is so fat she has a gym membership and a diet plan to lose weight

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Who does creatine? James Cornish

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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