His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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Why Oscar lives with elephants in a zoo ? Because he's an elephant.

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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