Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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call of duty world at war

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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some of these so called "anti-jokes" are real joke s- they don't belong on anti-joke. they are very funny but are traditional jokes that use cliched non-sequitor as punchlines.

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Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

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Man U

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Justin Bieber

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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