What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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John lazzaro likes dick

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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Come in

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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