Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The awkward moment when you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does everyone hate on justin beiber cause its easy

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

thumb_up thumb_down +20

People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops