my hand is a DOLPHIN!

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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The joke below me is retarded

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"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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Arrow to the Knee

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Why does the party start when Kesha walks in? Well, it's Kesha's party and it would be rude to be in her house having a party when she wasn't there.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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Yo Mamma

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

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Your social life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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