Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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