how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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