What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Why doesn't the mexican have a job? Grad school is taking up too much of his time.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What did the African say when he had diarrhea? "I wish I had access to clean water and basic amenities."

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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