Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Comment is abusive and has been removed.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

Darude - Sandstorm

sorry got to poo

Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

The Barackness Monster

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

Two buissness men had a meeting at 12:00 they had there meeting at 12:00 and left back to there normal life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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