What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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Knock knock --Come in.

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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