A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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There once was a man from peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he awoke with a fright in the middle of the night to find he had eaten the gel packets that came with them and died of cancer.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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