The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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Two muffins are in an oven, and one muffin says to the other "It sure is getting hot in here". the other muffin says "holy crap, a talking muffin."

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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minorities.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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your all shit at jokes

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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