What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Obama is a good president.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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poop

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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