penis. nuff said.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Dear 6, Please stop hitting on me, I heard you've done some pretty dirty stuff with 9. Sincerely, 7

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -19

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops