Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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