A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

thumb_up thumb_down +15

my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's long and black? A line at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man who was just struck in the head with a bowling ball? An ambulance would be the most appropriate thing to call since this man just sustained a serious head injury and medical responders should be contacted, lest his brain start hemorrhaging.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what is the world worst joke? this one

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops