"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

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2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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wood cant chuck wood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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