Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A lil girl walks in to a bar........................ all a sudden a giant purple bunny jump up into her butt... now every time she poops its an easter egg hunt. LBall

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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1

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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What did God say to the crying man? God doesn't exist.

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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72

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Yo mama's so old, she might die soon

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There was a man from Dundee. who's limericks always ended on line three. I don't know why.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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