Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Everyone always gets up in arms over human trafficking... ... Well I kind of enjoy the convenience of air travel and so on.

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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You

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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