Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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http://suckmytriforce.tumblr.com

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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why is the asian still in the driveway? her car broke down

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Poems don't have to rhyme

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What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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