What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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she wasn't 18

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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