The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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YEAH! LIKE RELLEZ! XD Anyway, sure, it depends, you don't get voted as the most pointless man on Horse-head network without working some for it, but if really weird comments impress you, then sure. Honestly though, I might have been flexing my show off muscles a bit more than usual, as in posting more stupid stuff than usual, BUT, that is because when a MAN meets a sexy WOMAN, yet another one than his WIFE, his already boiling testosterone burns with flames... ...And yeah, where where we again? Oh yeah, you acting a bit bimbo, and me going "RELLEZ" just to make you aware... Then added this.

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A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

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What do you call a Jewish police officer? It depends on if you are Mel Gibson or not.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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What do you call a cow that is lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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