roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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What do you call a not as grumpy Jewish man in his mid 30s? Danny. What do you call 5 of his best friends? Arin, Suzy, Barry, Ninja Brian, And Ross. Another possible answer to the 1st question is currently not married.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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A man walks into a bar, he is an alcohol and it's tearing his family apart

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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imadewords

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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What did the Momma Kangaroo say when she couldnt find her baby?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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