who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

Why didn't Jesus like pizza? Because he didn't exist.

What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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