What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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A black man walks into a book store.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Why was the alpaca sad He just got raped

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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