why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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