Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops