What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q. how did the blond get a college degree in medicine? A. she studied hard and aced her final exam.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Obama = ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops