I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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What do you get when a white person and a black person make a baby? A possible high functioning member of society.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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A blind man walks off a cliff.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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your momma eats so much ice cream, you often find yourself without anything sweet to eat late at night when you're hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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