How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

milly, milly, milly, cat

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You know Hellen Kellers retarded? No shes blind and deaf. Ehhh same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the mom beat up her son with downs because he was matt daly

thumb_up thumb_down -25

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops