Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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During english, we started talking about Attention Deficit Disorder when... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHINY... wait what were we talking about

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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