whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Whats Black and hangs from a tree? A Tire(:

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

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how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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A priest, an iman, a rabbi, a bishop and a Dalai Lama walk into a bar. Because they were of different faiths, racial slurs were thrown back and forth until they all left. They spent the rest of the night and most of the following day unhappy.

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A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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