Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

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What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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Guest what? Dog

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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