What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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A ginger rapping.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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