Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Clouds are white.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

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What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

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roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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Malachai.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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