Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? ni**er

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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why did the 70 year old white barber refuse to cut the black man's hair... It's because the old man's wife died just two weeks prior to this appointment and he is not in the current mental state to be wielding a pair of sharp sicors near another man's neck. This has happened many times between him and his customers in the past week, and his client base is lessening because of this.

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Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

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What is a vampire's favourite dessert? Vampires aren't real.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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Vagina cream... end of story

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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