Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? roger rabbit while hilarious, was an idiot and framed himself....mind F***.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

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What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

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roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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