I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What Do call a dog with an e A doge

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the plane say to the trade center on 9/11 boom

thumb_up thumb_down -2,357

How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,551

Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Needless to say,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops