Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

Why couldn't the black man get a high-paying job? because he lived during the harsh and cruel times of slavery.

What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

what did the asian say to the other asian "where both asian"

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

What do you call an arab ?

That's what he said.

Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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