What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

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Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Swiggity Swooty. I'm currently in pursuit for that part of your body people refer to as "booty".

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You wanna know what sucks about your face? . . Everything.

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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Wanna hear a joke womens rights

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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