A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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alert('The Game')

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" "It's who's." The grammar nazi has struck again.

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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What is the difference between two little red cubes who are excactly the same in weight lengt colour etc. ??? One is actually a blue ball!

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Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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