One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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why was the boy running? because his skin was burning off

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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Q:Why did the black man break into the KFC? A: Due to being recently fired from his job, he is not earning any income. The lack of money to support his family of 5 drove him to such a desperate state that he found breaking into restaurant the only way to provide for his loved ones.

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Q: What's the difference between a mountain goat and a pitching wedge? A: A lot.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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