What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

thumb_up thumb_down +32

three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did my iphone screen get scratched :(? because i dropped it ):

thumb_up thumb_down -1,255

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

guess what chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,806

Q: How do you get a black guy out of a tree? A: You cut the rope.

thumb_up thumb_down -832

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happens when you cross a Kangaroo with an Elephant? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +331

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

thumb_up thumb_down -15

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops