A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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We live in a world.... Yeah its called Earth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the fence open, so it wandered around and happened to cross a road.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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why did my iphone screen get scratched :(? because i dropped it ):

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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