Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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what did little billy say to susie? "why, hello susie."

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.

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Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

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8

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You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

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Hellen keller

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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That is so fetch

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alcoholism kills

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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