Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

h

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

THUMBS THIS DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! TOTAL PEOPLE DIED FROM THUMBING THIS DOWN: 147289347809237489

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -3

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A woman comes at the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is worse than being unemployed? Terminal Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

LOL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops