How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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Your time.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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