Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, There's gas in your shower, Because you're a Jew. Love, Hitler

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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Your mom is so nice.

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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boys

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Lebron James vs. Kobe Bryant

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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