A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This site is easy to upload to...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

thumb_up thumb_down

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops