Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you...

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

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the jokes are repetitive on this site

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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