A man buys free health care...

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

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Knock knock.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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I wrote a funny joke.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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who did the strait guy marry? a woman

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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