WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Knock knock Come In.......

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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What's wrong with a black man in a bar? Nothing, Except the fact that he is an alcoholic, and will probably beat his wife after drinking.

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The biggest joke in anti-joke are these two MOST FAVED What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. +17662 likes MOST HATED whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven -1714 dislikes GUESS WHAT : they are both jew jokes

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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