Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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Unflushed Shit...

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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Yo mama so dumb that she got mediocre grades throughout highschool and college which explains her less than desirable financial situation

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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