Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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123 f*ck off

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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