Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9. I'm just counting

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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Women Sports.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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