What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

girls basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops