What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

Knock Knock Who's there

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

Your mom.

Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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