What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

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Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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A Man thought it was a good day and to go on anti-joke.com then he saw a post that had a link. This man was you and the link was http://minedgamez.tk/beta/ The man then clicked the link and fucking laughed so hard xD. She died in a car crash. Then a pickle appeared. It was then eaten by you not realizing it was actually a hamster.

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Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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