What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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Justin Beiber

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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What's big and long? My dick.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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My dad beats my mom At checkers

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops