you know whats weird about italians? their italian

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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