Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilots had brain damage.

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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Justin Littleton getting laid.

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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