a Jew had a small nose

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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