Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy? You're skinny

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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why girl die cancer

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How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Batman. Batman who? Batman is stunned by the fact that there is in fact someone that does not know him.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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