Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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What's worse than an anti-joke about an anti-joke? The Holocaust

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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