LIE

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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What's winnie the pooh's middle name? the

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Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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whats better than shoes feet

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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a man goes for blood check up ..........his whole hand was frozen >>>>the doctor cuts his finger'''''' he comes outside crying n sits in a chair n cries.............]]]]]] the person near him asks him why is he cryin...he says i came 4 my blood test the doctor cut my finger.the person next to him cried aloud......the person asked y r u cryin>>>>>>>>>>i came her 4 my urine test ..........????????lol

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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