"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

What did the man with sores on his tounge get for a birthday present? He recieved a very nice pair of trousers which he wore to work from time to time

What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

What's clear and wet? water

What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

I cant think of one (._. )

What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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