What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Want to hear a joke? So do I.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Communism is very bad........well........look at China's economy

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops