Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to change a lightbulb? Why should his legal status matter at all in this situation?

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A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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A man walks into the kitchen tells the woman to make him a sandwich and walks out.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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