I have two hands. Some people dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -26

SNICHOLS AND DOOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

thumb_up thumb_down +3

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call someone who copies a previously posted anti-joke without doing any research to see if it has been posted before? a lazy good for nothing rectum licking testicle sucking gonad gobbling arse bandit with narcissism issues

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My friend harris is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops