a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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fart

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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