Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

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What's white and gluey Glue

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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