Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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three black men walk into a bar. they where asked polity to leave.

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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Q. What is the answer to life? A. 34

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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