hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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