Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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anal seepage

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Black berries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops