what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Andy Carrol

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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