if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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Caroline Kelly.

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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Stephen Hawking

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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h

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops