So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

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knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted AIDS

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What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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knock knock who's there aids

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A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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