Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

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Jesus

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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How high is the sky? True or False

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Whats the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer? The bad golfer looses the game, drives home, and falls asleep. The bad skydiver dies in a terrible accident.

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Caroline Kelly.

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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