A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

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an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

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Josh kissing a girl

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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