A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call 10,000 black men with their heads sticking out of the ground? Afro-turf

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Sea World Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Canadians

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops