Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Roses are Blue, Europe is Yellow. I suck at poems, Refridgerator

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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YA MAM, is a very nice person

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Knock knock Come in

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A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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What's worse than locking your keys in ur at outside of an abortion clinic? Going in side and asking for a coat hanger!!

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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