Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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God

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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Noah is Smart.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Wanna hear a joke? WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops