what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

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What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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equality for women

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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