how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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What did the family in debt get for Christmas.....a eviction notics.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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