Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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canadians

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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what do you call a black man with no arms or legs sitting on a porch? "sir" His life is hard enough with out being subject to social rudeness

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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