What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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Black Poeple

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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