how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I think everybody should have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is red and green, red and green, red and green? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops