How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +22

In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops