a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

thumb_up thumb_down +25

babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

tea with milk?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "It sure is hot in here". The other muffin says, "Yeah like 350, 375".

thumb_up thumb_down +1,132

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Psychics.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

96

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops