Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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