What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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The Big Band Theory

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Yo mama so ugly people don't like to look at her.

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What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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man boobs

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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