Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

What do you call a group of asians? China.

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...