what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Women's Rights

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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