Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

thumb_up thumb_down +50

I <3 Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

thumb_up thumb_down -13

josh roberts got the d in geog

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The Barackness Monster

thumb_up thumb_down +17

BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Bob: why didthe chicken cross the road? Tom: why? Bob: to get to your house Knock knock Tom: whos their Bob: the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops