Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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What word is 7 letters long, is composed of the letters N,G,G,E,R, and S, and stands for a group of people who annoy the crap out of you? NAGGERS.

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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do you currently smoke? i hope not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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There was a black man and a mexican woman at a bar. The women says, "Why are all racial jokes about men?" The black man replies, "Because it is believed by some that males are superior to women." The woman went to go order a book from amazon.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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I work at jcpenny

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A police officer.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping out of a plane? A world record sky diving group, and an improbably large aircraft.

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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