Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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I lost my tractor.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Arron Glass

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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