what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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smug face >:}

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Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you." So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind." The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out! "The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.' The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.' "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded! "So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.' "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible. "The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'" The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

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Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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