Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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hi

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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