"33"

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your carmel apple, which costs about 35 cents more on average.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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How do you divide 3426 by 78.6? With a calculator

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Two muffins are in an oven. After ten minutes at 375 degrees, they were pulled out, allowed to cool, and eaten.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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There was a blonde, brunette and a red head on an island. The blond was on holiday, the brunette lived there and the red head was there on business, it was a very large and industrial island.

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28

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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