I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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