What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she believes in god. God isn't real.

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

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so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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