Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why does kelly keep going on about breasts ? cus shes into chicks !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

kaite is dumb that is true

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13,639

Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops