What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack. She's dead.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops