How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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wanna here a joke? you.

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24

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I'm a Schizophrenic And so am I

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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