In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +182

Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the dif...mexicans are gay

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

thumb_up thumb_down

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

thumb_up thumb_down +22

SBB

thumb_up thumb_down +5

SC Johnson a Family Company

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There is a middle-eastern man in customs with a turban and a briefcase and he is profiled by his race which is a sad fact of our society.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops