Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Person 1: Did you hear the one about the guy who drank vinegar? Person 2: No Person 1: Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +270

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

kathryn atkins

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Take this and put it- No.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Religion

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops