A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

Dear crush, I want to drink you

If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

Potato!

Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

So you have been really stressed lately huh?

North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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