Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? The Landlord. Your rent's late.

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Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Jews.

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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