An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Whats big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A Fridge.

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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http://www.fotokristall.narod.ru/mov0001.swf

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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