When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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I have a dig bick you that read wrong you read that wrong too.

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What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

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What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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i'm not gay

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse replies "My wife is dying of terminal cancer."

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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