Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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1

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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What did God say to the crying man? God doesn't exist.

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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72

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Yo mama's so old, she might die soon

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There was a man from Dundee. who's limericks always ended on line three. I don't know why.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Black berries.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? With design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Dedication and hard work

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and have a wonderful time at what many people believe to be the most magical place on Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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