A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Chuck Norris died.

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? Invisible carrots.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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How Many Blind People Does It Take To Solve A Rubiks Cube? None Their Blind

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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