A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Why did I get raped

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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What do you call a gay lion tamer. It depends on their name.

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Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

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say sopha king together then sat funny at the end

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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