when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was tired of working for the man.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

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Granny porn!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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