Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

thumb_up thumb_down -42

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a person of Jewish descent and the other is a device for traversing waterways akin to the raft.

thumb_up thumb_down +177

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops