Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

Q: Why was the black guy afraid of the chainsaw A: It was cutting his arm off

I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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