Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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ok

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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You know Hellen Kellers retarded? No shes blind and deaf. Ehhh same thing.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

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I said I hate niiggers

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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