My sister has to take a dump

The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

Holocaust jokes are not funny. And I don't see the humor behind them.

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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