How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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wenis

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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What do you call a black man who kills jews? a serial killer

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Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

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Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Derp

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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