what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

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Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

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drugs.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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