Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

Starter clothing

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

When is a door not a door? Never.

If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

Q: Why was George Washington buried on a hill? A: Because he's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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