Michael Brown

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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You read the Terms of Service.

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Gay rights.

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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