Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

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Penis

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

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they're dead. idiot.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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What's winnie the pooh's middle name? the

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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