Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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guys stop with the jewish jokes anne frainkly its getting old

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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