- Anti Joke

Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

Knock knock Who's There? My name is Jeff

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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