How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Life

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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