Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a vampire? A Vampire Polar Bear.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

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Roses re red Violets are black You'd look better with a knife in your back

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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