"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

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Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Wy do boys like big butts ? Cause it goes in easy :.:

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops