It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Why did the black man approach a small white girl in the alley? He was knew in town and needed directions

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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There's a god, just kidding.

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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