Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

catlin: hi Thomas: shut up bich 12 assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssl;

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +32

whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops