how do you call someone? use a phone

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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Hello.

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Poop

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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