Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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How many Jews did Hitler kill during the Holocaust? Too many.

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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