Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Q: A Jew lost a penny, a nickel, and a dime. If he found the nickel and the dime, what didn't he find? A: The Mesiah

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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Okay.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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