An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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whats chinese noodles

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What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

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What's worse than death? Not a lot!

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she wasn't 18

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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The Female Orgasm

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Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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