When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

knock knock whos there the game _______I LOST THE GAME_______

Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

Womens Sports

why did the chicken cross the road? the holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...