What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops