Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why are oranges blue? Wait there orange... right

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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Lol! Why you wanna know?

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

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How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

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What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

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What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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