Two women were sitting quietly.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

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Why was there a black guy in the back of a police car? He was caught stealing

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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rape that shit

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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What did the dubstep say? Wub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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