What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 5

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

thumb_up thumb_down +46

sorry son your nanas been put down

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

GRAAAAAAAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

thumb_up thumb_down +23

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Soo if ur on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Pickle.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops