What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped

thumb_up thumb_down +658

What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +40,558

Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12

thumb_up thumb_down +55

How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -99

... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man returns from the army and finds his wife in bed with another man. He kills them both.

thumb_up thumb_down +567

Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5,103

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

thumb_up thumb_down +4,103

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops