What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

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You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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