How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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What do you call a bird with wings? A bird

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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Runescape.

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knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

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Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

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What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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batman farted so hes retarded

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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