Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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A obese woman, a anorexic woman and a average weight woman sit down to eat. They all have a good time.

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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Okay, after this one then...

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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who hooked up with Sinead Walker? • Liam Findlay

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Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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