Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

thumb_up thumb_down -19

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQOOJDIOOJIOAJWIODJOIAWJDIAJDOINWXIndiopwhenruioewfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJDDDDDDMMMMMMMMMMCCCCCCCCCCCJJJJJJJJJJJJSWKKKKKKKKKKKKKWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUWBUWBWUBWUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUWBU

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

CAVE JOHNSON.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops