My mom caught me masturbating.

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Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Gadaffi

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Anagram.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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