Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What is the Modern Day slave trade? The nba

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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69

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69

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Why can't Ray Charles see? Because he's dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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