When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

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LOL -LOL GUY

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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What did the bully call the box? a square, needless to say the box was offended

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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What iz stupid? Hibiyav

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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What's clear and wet? water

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Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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