Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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