A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

thumb_up thumb_down

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down

A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops