your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

Know what people hated the most? 9-11

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

verry nice how mUCH?

What's purple and glows? An electric grape

why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

what did the woman say when her husband punched her? nothing. she was physically abused for 35 years before she killed herself

Where's the dick??? east

whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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