How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Face Hunter is scum

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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women

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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