Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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What is a chair?

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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