How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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