Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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Wanna hear a joke? What? Life.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Asians

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What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

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Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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Women

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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