Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

Wanna hear a joke? What? Life.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

I saw a shovel once.

Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...