I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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asian, do math

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

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A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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cancer

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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