ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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Dyslexia ruels!

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Why did the Liberal tell the truth? If one ever does we will have the answer.

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

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tom hall

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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