Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

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Screw it you write the joke.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

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What did the Mexican overdose on to die. Nothing, he died of old age

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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