Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

What's worse than death? Not a lot!

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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ME

Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

Miscarriages.

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

Laugh

Why are trees green? I have no idea

What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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