What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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That didn't hurt.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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