There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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My nipple is bleeding

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

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why does the man appear fat he is

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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The original Superman: Cruelty! Do you remember the original superman color movies? Like when he just deflected lasers bombs fire and bullets, he threw busses, spun around the world, was completely immune to anything but kryptonite and then... (pls dont hate) ...Fell of a horse and became a complete cripple?

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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Gingers.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for water. The bartender asks,"How would you like to pay?" And do you know what he said? "Charge it to the game."

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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