What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

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A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

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Once upon a cross

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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