A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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i like it in the mouth

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What's the difference between God and Kanye West? God doesn't think he's Kanye West.

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Why couldn't the black man swim He never learned how.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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what happened to the man who got stuck in a car after a crash? the ambulance failed to arrive and he died a slow, trajic death.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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