Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

Knock knock Who's there The mailman The mailman who? You are so dumb.

U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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