roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

thumb_up thumb_down -43

The duck didn't cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -8

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do u shit With ur ass

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops