So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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The dewey decimal system

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a dyslexic man walked into a bar, ordered a beer, and no one was aware of his affliction

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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