If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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I am on a escalator.

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops