What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

Your mommas so fat that she may die.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

there is a mexican and a black guy in the back of a car, who is driving? The cop

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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