What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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When I get aroused I get a solid snake

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You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Terraria

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What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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TOBUSCUS

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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