What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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This is a joke.

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Two friends go on a hunting trip together. One friend says to the other "Knock, knock." The other friend doesn't respond because he was mauled by a bear.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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YOU

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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