A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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No

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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