Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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what is black white and red all over? A black and white movie with the first violent color leave a comment if this joke is duped.

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Q: what are very funny A: Jokes

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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The Aristocrats

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Turtles

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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