Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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