Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

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Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

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ur mother

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

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Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race, she died in a fire.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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