OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

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Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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