Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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sure!

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How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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i did a 360 noscope, then i jizzed. from dylan

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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