A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Ralph fall off the swing He was distracted because he had a perfect view of the twin towers when 9-11 was happening

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

thumb_up thumb_down +5

the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the man sad? His brother died.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the cat say to another ? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So you all no Dora right, well why is she always lost in the forest wit her friend boots? Whats the deal with the map everybody knows maps cannot talk!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck is wrong with the makers of the show!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops