Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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Whats the difference between a cobra and the hulk? One is my penis and the other one is a cobra.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Bumsniffer

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

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Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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