Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

thumb_up thumb_down -11

your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops