What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you know, that every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how much fish could a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops