69

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Why did the pony say neigh? That`s all he can say

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A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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What do you call a black man about to jump off a cliff? Suicidal

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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