When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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want to no whats funny what your mom

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Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops