Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

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What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Q: What would you do for a Klondike bar? A: I would make the slightly onerous journey to the local grocery establishment and pay my hard-earned money to procure a dessert which I quite enjoy.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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I named my son ps2 controller

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I Love You Jordan! P.S. from someone you know

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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