So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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It says so on your cap.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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cory

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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You hear a big Boom, and run in, and see a shattered toilet, and a very BIG dying woman, on the floor next to it.

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Why did that guy die? because the SS thought he was a jew.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

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Caroline Kelly.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

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What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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What do you call a man who was just struck in the head with a bowling ball? An ambulance would be the most appropriate thing to call since this man just sustained a serious head injury and medical responders should be contacted, lest his brain start hemorrhaging.

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Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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