Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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belly button

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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Your mother is so ugly, because she was badly beaten.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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