Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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poop.........

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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what does the black guy order for a drink at the bar. kool aid

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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