Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Man 1: What's blue and goes blub blub? Man 2: I don't know what? Man 1: A blue blub blub. What's green and goes blub blub? Man 2: A green blub blub? Man 1: There's no such thing as a green blub blub you moron.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? So he can eat it.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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