What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Obviously way more than is considered acceptable or safe, considering his recent public outbursts and problems with addiction.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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Knock knock --Come in.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Wenis Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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