What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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