what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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Welcome to die!

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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