There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

EVERYBODY GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP AND SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS AND LETS SEE IF WE CAN TAKE OVER THE MOST LIKED JOKE.

thumb_up thumb_down -424

Want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a dyslexic man walked into a bar, ordered a beer, and no one was aware of his affliction

thumb_up thumb_down +2,416

A chicken walked into the bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops