A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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