What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

Why did the blind man walk into a shop He didin't walked into a wall

How did the blond die? Substance abuse

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

Why do Indian people smell like curry? They don't. Its an ignorant misconception.

What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change it and the other to hold the ladder so the first man won't fall and hurt himself.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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