Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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A black man is stopped at a red light. He waits for the light to turn green and proceeds forthwith.

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Gangnam style

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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