Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

what do you call a black chef glendon

Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

When life throws you lemons, duck.

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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