What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A tragic accident waiting to happen.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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