Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

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why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

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Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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Q: What's grey and looks good on policemen? A: A stylish grey hat.

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here!" The other one says "We're both going to die in here and nobody will hear us scream."

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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What did one duck say to the other? Quack.

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I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Unless they were having sex with my corpse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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