What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Boob

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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What did Katniss say to her sister? hi

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops