Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

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Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

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Knock Knock. Who's there? God. God Who? ::Apocalypse follows::

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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2 black kids walk into school

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What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

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knock knock go away

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

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MySpace.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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There were 4 black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff. The sad thing was it was a nice car.

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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whats a joke

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How many Jews can you fit in a Car? 2 in the front seat 3 in the back seat 5 in the trunk and a couple thousand in the Ashtray -WSS Gaming

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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