Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

A black man is in line for a club. The bouncer says: This is a white party only. The black man says: Damn, I wasnt aware I had to wear white clothing. He then left the line and told himself to check the promotional page on facebook more often.

what's worst than being gay? being black

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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