What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

hello

What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

I literally died laughing

J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

What should someone do if they are Le Zirk? Have a zirk. THEN FIRE THE ZIRKKK!!!!!!!

Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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