How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A girl who really needs to see the doctor.

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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whats softer than a furry blanket an indian

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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