How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops