Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

European on my shoes, buddy.

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

Is this where I type the joke?

Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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