Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Take part of what?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a black pilot? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is justin bieber gay? because he is attracted to men

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops