What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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The Colts this year.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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