What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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Hello penis

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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What's big, yellow, and can't swim? A school bus.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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