feces

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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#Hanging Degus

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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._____________________. Whale!

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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