What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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Whats green and has 4 wheels? A green car.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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25

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Small titties.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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