What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Bitch

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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