A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

Why cant a black man and a white man cant be friends? Because bont mens are racist

Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? Because he was blind.

How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

An Aisian failed a test

What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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