I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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96

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Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops