How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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no

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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what do mexicans and grass have in common You find them both in your front yard

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

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cory

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why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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