How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

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There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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the asian kid gets an F

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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