So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Charcoal is black, So is my neighbor.

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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What do you call a fat man in a tiny pipe? Stuck.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops