A man walks into a bar. Dyslexia is not funny. -Tag

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What's 9+10=? 19

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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someone called someone else a frog

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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A homeless man begged and begged for a dollar to buy something. A man finally gave him his dollar. What did the hobo buy? Nothing he walked into 711 and then got shot.

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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