"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away."

thumb_up thumb_down +1,352

Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

thumb_up thumb_down

How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

im a willy bum bum

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

thumb_up thumb_down -135

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does the party start when Kesha walks in? Well, it's Kesha's party and it would be rude to be in her house having a party when she wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops