A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

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What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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How will the world end? That information is unknown

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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69

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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