What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

verry nice how mUCH?

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

why did the blue berry cross the road

What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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