How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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Why was the user KyuremCult's name blacklisted on iFunny? She had been repeatedly banraided by people with no success, but because of the mass reports and the leading to some of her works being deleted, the system decided to blacklist her name from search.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

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Yellow People !!

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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