I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Dislike this

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Anything Dane Cook says

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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