roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is a jew in space? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops