What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Why can't jokes spit?

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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