Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

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A guy is playing cod

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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What is 8 times 4? 32

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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