How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

brian mcgee is gay!

whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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