If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +83

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

minecraft

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops