Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

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What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Massie is a fatass

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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