Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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clamidia

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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