Knock,Knock Whos there ? Hola Holo who ? Holocaust Hahahaha

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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