How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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anus soup

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops