How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

why did the chicken cross the street? ... ... ... oh... come on, ask why!

hey guys check out my cool youtube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivQ_bezJjK0

roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

Face Hunter is scum

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

hard cheese

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

Jews

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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