whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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Why was Timmy sad?

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Compton

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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#Getweird

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A rabbai , a mexican , and a ginger are In a car going over a cliff. Which one dies? Who cares?

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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