Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Why do mexicans eat tacos? Because they're good

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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The Labour Party.

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Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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