Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Stop procrastinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Joe Biden

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Christ is a conspiracy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down

You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's white and horny? a unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops