What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Black History Month

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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A gay dyslexic black man walks in to a bar the bar tender say "what'll it be" and then he orders his drink and pays his bill and leaves.

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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a mexican and a black guy are sitting in a car, who's driving? the police

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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