How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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whats long and black? a baton

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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42

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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Gabe Mercado

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops