Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

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Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to foodstuffs.

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know where i was going with this one.... Refrigerator

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Juggling lions and breast feeding.

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An englishman, Irishman and scottishman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Irishman and englishman both jump off the cliff. The scottishman says "oh,shit".

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, it's really nice.

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haha, you're an orphan

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

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Female Orgasms

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no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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