15

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender goes to get him a drink, but then realizes how ridiculous this is and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over to tell his wife about it, but she ignores him. He begins to cry silently, realizing his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

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What's worse than biting into your apple and realising it has a worm in it? subsequently realising that the worm is a Swamp Adder, the worlds smallest venemous snake. Then you look up and realise you're in the Sahara Desert. You wonder where the snake came from and how it got in the apple.. Then you slowly die.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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justin beiber sucks

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, it's really nice.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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What comes after 23? 24.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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