What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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Knock knock whos there? A dead black man ... i farted

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

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Yo momma so fat she went on the Subway diet and is now exercising regularly to lose weight.

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Why do girls like Justin beiber Because he can sing good

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Your mom is so old she died

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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