Get up Look in the mirror

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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im not food

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Why did the black man rob the bank? Well..why not?

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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