How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship with God.

Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

Women's Rights

Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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