What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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tim tebow is a great quarterback

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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Good afternoon.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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