Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,658

why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The person below me is weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I LIKE TURLES.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down

violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

thumb_up thumb_down +18

http://suckmytriforce.tumblr.com

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops