What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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Two elks were out flying one day. One of the elks turned to the other one and said: - You have a cinnemon bun in your eye. - What? - You have a cinnamon bun in your eye! - WHAT? - YOU HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN YOUR EYE!!! - I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN MY EYE!

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how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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