hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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Sarah Palin

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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