Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Womens rights.

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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Ben Affleck

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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brandon ya twwat

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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