Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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What do you call a fat man in a tiny pipe? Stuck.

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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what's funnier than the holocaust. If it happened again.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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