What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

HEY!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Lol! Why you wanna know?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops