A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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Q: Why couldn't Sally ride her bike? A: because Sally has Cerebral Palsy.

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Why was the girl stupid? Because she had blonde hair.

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The jets are a good team..

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What is it called when a whole bunch of black people run down a hill? A race.

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Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

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What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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hi joshua

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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