What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

MySpace.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops