Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

Your eye color is very unique.

Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

What is it called when a male and a male are together. A relationship

The jinx machine just stole your money... ... this poem was supposed to be funny

name 3 fruit begining with n a napple, a norange, and a nannana

What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

do you know what's so funny? yup

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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