What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

A skinny white prisoner dropped his soap in the shower. So the big, ripped, black prisoner who was showering next to him picked up the soap and handed it back to him. The skinny white prisoner said "Thank you" and continued with his shower.

What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

Q:What the worst lie you have ever told??!!???!?!?!?!? A: I have read and agree to the Terms and Service

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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