A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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how bout that airplane foood!!!1

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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