what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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