Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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What does karissas vagina taste like? Ask vantwon

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Hi Shelby!!

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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What's worse than a spray tan? - A spray tan of hydrochloric acid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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