I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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Penis.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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No.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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whats sad about 4 black guy drivein off a cliff in a cadalic a wast of good cadalic

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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Potato.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Spell: “This word”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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