Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hope you all drop the soap in prison

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops