FIRE!!

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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an amosh person used an electrical appliance

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

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obamas trench

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You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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hiya

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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zx

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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