Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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