What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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There are two kinds of people: Those who have a life, and those who read anti-jokes

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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Illumati Confirmed

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why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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