What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Dinosaur!

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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What's worse than being the last man on earth with thousands of women to please? Realizing that you are gay and there are no men left.

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After ten minutes at 375 degrees, they were pulled out, allowed to cool, and eaten.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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