Knock knock. Who's there?

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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