What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

Your mum is dead

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

baloney sandwich

Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

Autism speaks but not really

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

meme

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer.

What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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