(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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What's 2+2? Fish

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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While your reading this. A man is robbing your home and sodomizing your dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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