A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

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I friended Paul Walker on Xbox, but he's always in the Dashboard.

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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what is worse than joel an infested asshole

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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