Why did the blonde shoot her dog? Because it had rabies

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Two fish are in a tank. It is an average sized tank designed to hold aquatic animals.

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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A black man is going to get a vasectomy. He shows up to the doctor's office wearing a suit. The doctor says "Why are you wearing a suit?" The black man says "I just got back from a funeral"

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Beans, beans, they're good for your heart, Because they contain antioxidants and help to lower your cholesterol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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