And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey, the eighties called, they were really excited about inventing a phone that could call the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +522

knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Horse with a chair on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

...._ ..,,-======-. `''< .$$$$$$P"??$$??!!!!>. ,$$$$$$P .?!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$k !!!!!!!!!!!!!!> d$$$$$$$$ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!: d$$$$$$$$$F '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: d$$$$$$$$$$ '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$$$$$L !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$ '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$ !!!!!XX!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$x!!!!!!#X!!!!!!!!!!!!> 3$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!$!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!$!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$$$$$$?!!!!!!!Xd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$$$?!!!!!!!WT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$F!!!!!!!td!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $$$$$$$!!!!!!!Ud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$!!!!!!W?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$C!!!!!!E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$!!!!!!E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$b!!!!9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> `$$$$$C!!9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$bUi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! `$$$$$$$$$$$$$b!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$$$$$$$f!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $$$$$$$$$$$$$)!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$$$$$$F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; ?$$$$$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; $$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! `$$$$P?(`-, `'(-(-`<>.\'- ,;

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops