What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

what did the plane say to the trade center on 9/11 boom

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Q: How much does it cost to have 50cent and Nickleback perform together? A: 45 cents, because its 50 cents, and you get a nickle back

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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