What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Click thumb up i will be eternally grateful

thumb_up thumb_down -813

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A penguin bikes to a bakery, the baker asks him "what kind of bread do you want?" Penguin replies "it doesn't matter, im biking"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Holocaust jokes aren't funny and frankly, I do not see why people think they are so funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops