Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Why did the black man buy 3 boxes of condoms? Because he practices safe sex and they were on sale.

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What do you call a black person who just received a bachlors degree from Havard? A very educated human being.

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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Why did the five year old leprosy survivor fall out of the tree? She had no arms, they had to be amputated.

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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