How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

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what do you call a black women that got an abortion a crime stopper

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops