Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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I love pissing people off :P

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

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Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

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yo momma so fat that she needs to lose weight

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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