Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +49

My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whats brown and smells like poo?? Poo

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's not red? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I scream. You scream. We all scream.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Fuck her

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops