Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

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-Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? -No. -Well niether has he.

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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Penis

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Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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