Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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1

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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4

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops