What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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69.... is a number

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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