Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +172

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -38

why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get if you cross a Black Man with a Knife? Stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's older than history? Pre-history.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -170

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops