My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

thumb_up thumb_down +7

hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

thumb_up thumb_down -11

so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -11

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's 1+1? 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops