A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you say to a woman in the kitchen? Cook me some food.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Womens rights !

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Want to hear a Joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops