How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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