That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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every knight i see an owl at window

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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