Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops