Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

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Mitt Romney

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Whyd the girl fall of her bike? She rode over a curb

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

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There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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Do you want to hear an anti joke? No.

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Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops