Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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poop

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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baby seal walks into a club

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Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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come along children

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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