A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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What did the nerd say to the bully? Nothing. The bully killed him before he could say anything.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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whats 69+2? 71

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I am awesome, you are not, i am awesome, you smoke pot!

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? While I can never be entirely sure, I would assume that there was something on the other side which has peaked its interest.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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