What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

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Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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lol a man is drowning

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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I LIKE TRAINS

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, it's really nice.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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