What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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Mitch

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Why did Jane scared of the video about a clown dancing in the room? Because it was her room.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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whats the differnce between a corvette and a pile of dead babies??? i dont have a corvette in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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