what do you call 3 black men in a line up? their names

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

knock knock whos there .. derp

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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