Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

S.O.P.A

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does jim never go to McDonalds? his wife got shot there.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man takes a prostitute to a hotel room, right? The woman is a federal agent, assigned to investigate high prostitution levels in the area. The man is promptly arrested, and now a large fine and up to 90 days in a correctional facility.

thumb_up thumb_down +189

.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

which one is easiest

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

thumb_up thumb_down

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Spotto

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops