What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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MySpace.

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How do you sleep? With a knife I just saved a lot of money by switching to Geico......with a knife I'm going to the restroom, with a knife. How do you do a back flip with no hands? With a knife. What is 2 plus 2? The answer is 4, with a knife. Would like you like to go see a movie with me...with a knife? Today, I'm going to show you how bake a strawberry chocolate cake...with knife. I'm sorry, you have the wrong number...with a knife. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side....with a knife. A man walks to a bar and orders a shot of vodka....with a knife. Omg, I just saw Miley Cyrus at the mall today....with a knife. In Soviet Russia, blah blah blah, with a knife. How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? 1, with a knife. I'll be back in time for dinner, I'm going to the gym and work on my abs....with a knife.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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Poop

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops