Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the lion say to the Octopus? Nothing, lion's can't speak. And even if they did, the chances of one ever encountering an octopus are very slim.

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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sorry got to poo

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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A dyslexic canadian walks into an arab

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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