Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? I don't know GOOD!

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Badgers are cool

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Women's rights.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops