How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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hey guys check out my cool youtube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivQ_bezJjK0

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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Yo mamma's so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch. :) By Drew Bolton

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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