what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Caolan and Eamon

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

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Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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