how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

Whats funny? Your face.

Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

jewish people like other jewish people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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