What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A hitman and his target walked in the same bar togather what happend? nothing because a hitman has better things to do and the target would lay low.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

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My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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A man penetrates another man.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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