what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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dead battery come on down

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were on the Moon? Nothing he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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