Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Transformers: Shadow of the Dark Risen Monday. The Autobots starring in more explosions, more random fighting! Zero narrative nor explanations! One constant explosion trough the whole movie! But do not worry! Did you believe that the final battle versus Optimus Prime and his evil Dimensional counterpart Optimal Evilus would be the ones fighting at standing at the end? NO! This is far more exciting! 16 year old Nick is seeking the love of his life in the 42 year old grandmother Mirabella Torres, and ends up proving his love by pushing the button that instantly kills Optimal Evilus`s ultimate form Evilus Supreme! "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Honest reviews. "Yeah we love it that part where Optimus Prime forgets who is fighting and beats the shit out of Jazz and his totally non racist MonkeyBot Obamabus, seriously, this needs to die" Transformers lovers. "You gotta love that scene where Megatron starts blowing up his own allies because explosions!" Transformersmoviefans.com. "So why did Optimus Prime refuse to kill his Evil dimensional brother thing? I mean he was from another dimension, why did he go around like "NO HE IS MY BROTHER IN SOME DIMENSION! YOU MUST INSERT THE SPARK INSIDE ME DEEP INSIDE ME NICKY! DEEPER!" People Magazine. "So this time they just made the Decepticon`s weakness a button so small only a human can push it huh?" People... Just people. "MY EAAAAAAAAARSSSS!" MICHAELBAYGAVEMEPTSD.ORG. Moral: Wow it says skynet is watching all the time now at solvemedia, unexpected considering the first thing I posted was the terminator XXXV thing. So, is it some sort of easter egg feature? I mean I would not believe myself if someone told me that.... Which is actually what makes this kinda creepy...

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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