What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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knock knock There's no door

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yo mama is so fat she is 1 candy bar away from dieing

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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I never asked for this.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops