What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

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Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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Can I touch it?

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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How do you starve a Somalian? Too late.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q:Whats worst then finding a worm in your apple? A:Getting raped in the ass.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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