If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops