A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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God

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i dont care if you rate me or not

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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I am very humble.

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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I would rape her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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