When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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dog

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Hi

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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