What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

What looks like Micheal Jackson but isn't Micheal Jackson A black guy

An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

Robin, get in the car!

Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...