Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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UN

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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My children are huge mistakes.

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Womens Rights.

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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