What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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I like U.............................nicorns :D

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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shitted on em put your numbah 2s in the air if ya did it on em

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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