whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

"33"

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

So you have been really stressed lately huh?

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

Three head lice are drinking beer on a scalp, then they are killed by a high strength medical shampoo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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