There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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Chuck Norris watches TV.

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Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger. The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say willytop. The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school. He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office. Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy said was Willtop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school. Well, the boy went home, to find his parents in the living. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy said was Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house. Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town. Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy said was Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of willytop. what does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad. Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

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hi

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops