Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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Justin Beiber's Talent.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops