Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

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obama

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Q. What did Tarzan Say when he met Jane? A. Tarzan Being raised by apes and not learning English would have no knowledge of the language and would probably hoot and screech like his fellow ape brothers

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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