why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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i lyk 2 eet pup

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?!"

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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