- Anti Joke

How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

What did Katniss say to her sister? hi

Fuck her

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

your momma so dumb she put a battery up her but and said i got the power!!!

Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

Canada

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

The WNBA.

What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

YES! EXACTLY!

What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

Knock Knock Whose there? Me! Hi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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