why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

I haven't left my basement in 29 years

why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

What stops a train? A missile

What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

01010010001010010100100101001001010010100100100100100100100100100100100100010010101010101010101011010101010110010101010 Dolphin

69

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...