Billy wanted a pet...and now he got cancer...

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Major League Soccer

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Did you hear about the blonde that went to college? She got a degree.

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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Hitler Call of Duty Score Kills: 6 million Jews Deaths: 1

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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