ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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George Bush.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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