Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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What's better than doing the Hannah Montana's hoedown-throwdown? Throwin' that ho down.

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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womens rights

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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A man returns from the army and finds his wife in bed with another man. He kills them both.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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