What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I love pissing people off :P

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than some one spitting in your food Hitler revealing he's actually a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Women's professional sports

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops