What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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sometimes josh roberts sees how many things he can get in his bumhole befor is starts to bleed.

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A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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You.

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A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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