Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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What a gay guy get on his IQ test? 69

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amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

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Asians...

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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yeah..

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WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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