"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

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"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Democracy.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting... 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings... The hollacaust Whats worse than the hollacaust... 3 BEE STINGS!!!

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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