What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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Roses r red violets r blu I hav5 fingers the middle ones for u

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What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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I bet you read this. Told ya.

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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