Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

what did the man say when he walked into the bar? Ouch!

Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

Gay republicans

There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

come along children

what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

this girl died

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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