Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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Oh...okay, good.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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John lazzaro likes dick

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Seeing your mom dance

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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