Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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yo mamas like a spider always getting wrapped up in her own cu*

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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Black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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