how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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Why don't mummies take vacations? They're dead.

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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What did the joke writer with A.D.D say refrigerator

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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