What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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full house

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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robin, get in the car.

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

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69

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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