What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the worst joke ever? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My kids are mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

does this look unsure to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

penis haha

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops