How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

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for keeps?

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Mike tyson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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