How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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7

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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