Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

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Where did the kittens go on their class filed trip? Nowhere, animals are not permitted to enter a museum unless they are eye seeing dogs helping a person who lacks vision.

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Do you want to hear a joke? To bad! :)

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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