What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

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Guest what in the butt

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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The horse said "nay."

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A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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a man said hi.

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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