"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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http://richardfigures.com/

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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Penis

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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Women's rights

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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No soap radio

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops