Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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knock knock get lost!

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Have you ever heard of Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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This is an anti-joke.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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