Why is a black man fat? Because he eats a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a jew hanging from a tree? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

wanna hear a joke? i dont

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops