Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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69

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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