Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A POW is sitting in his cell when the guard walks up to him. He says "You may choose one of these tortures, drowning or listening to Rebecca Black." The POW chose Rebecca Black, for even though he disliked her music, it was much better than getting drowned

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

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Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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