I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday just dance 3

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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Face Hunter is scum

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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