Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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Rebecca Black's career.

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

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What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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What is more worse than death? Death

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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