What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A blonde dies Lololol

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

LIFE :(

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops