- Anti Joke

What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he didn't make it that far

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

What do you call a black cop? Officer.

Why do mexicans eat tacos? Because they're good

how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

What's 9 + 10 19

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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