How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

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Q:What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A: A pilot you racist jerk...

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings? A car crash Whats worse than a car crash? 3 bee stings

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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Roses are blue vilotets are yellow, obviously I don't know this rhyme so well u have aids and will die of cancer at the age of 25, and so will ur mom

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Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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Netflix and chill

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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