So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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This statement is false.

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What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Why was the mom happy cause her daughter had an abortion

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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the asian kid gets an F

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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