How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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