Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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There is no I in Pie except for the I

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Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

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When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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