Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

thumb_up thumb_down

police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't Tommy pick up the bunny? Because the bunny was schizophrenic and Tommy wasn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +245

ObamaCare

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops