what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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What did the Black man say when he just got home from work? "Hi honey, I just got home from work."

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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A blonde walks into a bar ouch

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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