A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. But Roses can also be White. And Violets should be Purple

thumb_up thumb_down +605

What's the biggest Jewish holiday? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -347

There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get two whales in a car? You can't. Whales are very large creatures and cannot fit into anything that size.

thumb_up thumb_down +450

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats a cat? A cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +42

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Black People

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops