What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

Q, Where did Rebecca Black go to eat? A. TGI Fridays

Why did the American run over the black man. Because he didn't see him standing there.

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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