When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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yeah..

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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