whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

a man walked out of church and said F***!

whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

whats the differnce between a corvette and a pile of dead babies??? i dont have a corvette in my garage.

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

A man walks into bar carrying a nondescript glass bottle of beer. The bartender speaks up in a harsh tone "We don't allow outside drink here buddy! If you're drinking here, you're buying it from here! The man replies, "Oh I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a normal beer. Every time you take a swig from it, you are granted one wish!" The bartender, who is at this point getting visibly irritated, "I ain't got no time for fairy tales. Screw off!" The man seemingly unfazed by this anger tells him, "I'm not any kind of liar. I have three sips left. You can have them if you want." The bartender snatches the bottle with his unwashed hands from the man. "Fine" he says gruffly "I'll drink your magic beer." He thinks for a brief minute and says to himself, "I wish I had an expensive sports car." and takes a drink from the bottle. No later then a second later, a Ferrari pulls up into the driveway. It is a sleek and dark red color. It was of the latest model and did not have a single scratch whatsoever. The bartender's eyes pop wide open in astonishment and he quickly makes his second wish, "I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend!". And he took another drink. No later than five seconds, A leggy 5'7 blonde bombshell steps out of the entrance. She dons a short white skirt, Long red stiletto heels and a jet black spaghetti strap top. The bartender starts to sweat and looks a little nervous. "And my final wi-EUGHAAAHGGHHH!" The bartender collapses from the floor drooling from the mouth. It turns out that the liquor he was drinking was 180-proof alcohol that his old liver could not take. The blonde woman steps back and lets out a disgusting shriek. "Ewww, this old ugly hobo just ODed on the floor. Can we go somewhere else for drinks Jeremy?" Her boyfriend replies, "Yeah good idea babe. This place looks a trash heap anyway. You deserve better." The couple do not hesitate in stepping into their sleek red Ferrari and driving off. The man who had given the bartender the beer proceeded to check the dead man's pockets and rob it of all of it's contents. Nobody ever caught the man, and not a single person in the bar cared enough about the bartender to call 911. Moral of the story: Magic does not exist and life sucks.

Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

Asians are ugly and they look they have down syndrome.

What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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