My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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Yock

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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What Did The Boy With No Arms Or Legs Get For Christmas? Cancer.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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