Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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it was all Tagart

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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