Women

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Your mama is so fat... Haha, that's a good joke.

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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why did the chicken cross the road cause i fucked your mom

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A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops