A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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why did the chicken cross the street? ... ... ... oh... come on, ask why!

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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You hear a big Boom, and run in, and see a shattered toilet, and a very BIG dying woman, on the floor next to it.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops