#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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Hello I'm a fat kid

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A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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