I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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Why was the fat person sad? Because he was fat.

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Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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