A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

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what does a granny look best in? 1950

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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A family of black people get onto a plane. The son said to his father: "Why do planes have wings?" The father then replied by saying: "To help them fly son." The plane's wing then fell off due to a building error, then the plane crashed and everyone on board was killed.

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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