Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: Nooooo! Darth Vader: Yes.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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