What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A girl who really needs to see the doctor.

Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

what happen to covietz when he licked his balls? nothing he likes the taste

an ethopian thanksgiving

A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

A woman had a dream. She followed this dream and completed all the goals she had set in life and was excessively happy. Then she woke up and her original suspicions were confirmed...it was a dream.

Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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