How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +5,696

Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the cure of cancer? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I have two hands. Some people dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was the black kid so good at basketball because he practiced a lot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops