Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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Hello, I want likes. Press the up arrow.

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

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what are you mike bibby?

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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