What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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you know whats funny... nothing.

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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Knock knock Come in!

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I can tell by your accent.

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why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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A woman comes at the doctor.

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What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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