What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops