What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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Roses are red violits are blue I have ADHD do you like cats?

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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