How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had 3 testicles

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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