What did the Pornstar say to his wife? He concluded that a divorce was the way forward for both of them as, seeming as he was a pornstar, he was almost certainly having extra-maritial sexual intercourse, unhealthy for any working relationship.

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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