knock knock whos there? nobody

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the dubstep say? Wub.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

thumb_up thumb_down +55

stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

someone jumped off a bridge he died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops