What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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Woman rights.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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Q. Why did the boy get so fat? A. From playing Pokemon Pearl Edition

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I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

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How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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