A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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Why is Jordan Abu Arabian ? Because his mom is!

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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