They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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Why do Indian people smell like curry? They don't. Its an ignorant misconception.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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