- Anti Joke

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

NASCAR

Why are black people so good at basketball? They practice.

Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Black berries.

Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

Why did the blonde shoot her dog? Because it had rabies

A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

Your mama is so fat she has to buy plus sized clothes.

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

A man walks into a bar, he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family.

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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