shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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asian, do math

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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What happened to the teacher? He taught his students.

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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E= McVagina

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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