dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I'm a white rapper bro I do it all the time People don't like me cuz my words don't match

thumb_up thumb_down +173

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -66

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rober-to. What do you call a black guy with a big toe? Tobe Bryant

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops