Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the girl have twins she was raped

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Caramel Boing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

KIMBERLEY HONEY

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened to the little kid who went surfing? Answer: he gOt eaten by a shark

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chris is hairy

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops