Netball.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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why was 6 afraid of 9? cause thats just gross.

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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There is a mountain and there are three men, One is asian and the two others are black and white. "This is for my people!" Said the asian man when he was falling for his death. "This is for my people!" Yelled the african american. Then he takes the American man and throws him off the mountain

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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