What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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I hate Jews The Holocaust

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Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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