Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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nine...eleven

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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21

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My Girlfriend

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69

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

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What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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