Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The Big Bang Theory (the show).

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I put my baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

fart+fart=poop

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops