A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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