Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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I love you

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What are jews without the holocaust? Alive

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Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

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what's the difference between a duck?

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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OGC - tilt your head

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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why are balck people black because they are

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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When I went on this website for the first time with a few friends, I was surprised to see a lot of these jokes were actually capable of making me laugh. But as I read on, eventually those funny, harmless jokes turned into offensive, ignorant, and very absurd statements. I realize that this 'anti joke' website was most likely created by a bunch of white people, because obviously white people are one of the most racest human beings, but all this is just too much! I guess I'm trying to say: if your going to make a joke, be respectful about it. America has gone through a lot of unforgiveable hardships and unfortunately these 'jokes' are making fun of all of that in a very offensive way.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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