What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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Knock knock. Come in. You're under arrest for second degree murder.

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops