A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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