Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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