why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

thumb_up thumb_down +10

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

thumb_up thumb_down -103

How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

thumb_up thumb_down -13

This is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There once was a man from Kentucky...then he raped everyone in sight... THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You are the most beautiful person in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops