Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops