Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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imadewords

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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knock knock who's there Steve Go away

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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tom hall

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops