How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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If you analyze this joke closely you' ll realize its not funny.

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Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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Two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffins says "God its hot in here." The other muffin screams "AHHHH talking muffin!!!!"

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What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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