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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I am homeless, Can I have some food?

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Charlie Sheen

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

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your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

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If life gives you lemonade.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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The geese of Growmore

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Women's sports

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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