There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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where's waldo? in a picture book.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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