What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

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a potato flew around my room

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops