Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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What did the black guy do with his gun? Shoot a deer

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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