Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

-Children! Come inside! -Why? -We are going out...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

hi anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops