What time is it? 12:03 AM

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Weed.

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captcha: all yer base

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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Niko isnt a mexican douche

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops