so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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KONY 2012

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How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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What's a small person? A midget

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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