Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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Why do nascar drivers wreck Jeff gordon's bad racing Stupidity And kyle buschs great wrecking ability

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A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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Black people.

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

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What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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What do you call a black person with dandruff.... A lamington

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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