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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

What's the difference between Jerry Sandusky and a pedifle? Nothing.

Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

Guess what? You just lost the game.

Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

A man. That is all.

Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

Goodbye Nero, it is good to see that you are the man that we still admire so much, except better, wiser than we thought you would be, stronger, if broken inside by unhappiness, you cannot change this world into what it could have been, and neither should you take that burden upon your shoulders anymore.

What did Washington say to California? WC

Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

What's sad about four black people going over in a cliff in Cadillac? It was my Cadillac.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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