What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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Knock Knock. *silence* Knock Knock.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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what is a bracket? a bracket

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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How do you get pikachu on a bus? You don't pokemon are fictional characters

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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