Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

How's your mum? she's dead..

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

This is Heading 1

Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

Bacon is delcious.

why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk