How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Terry has ebola

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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Joke.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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26 because if 25 is funnier than 24, 26 should be even funnier right?

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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