Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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whats 2+2? 4

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Why are elephants ears sooo big? The big ears are to help the elephants stay cool. Elephants don't sweat, so they have a hard time dissipating excess heat (keeping cool). Their large ears contain many blood vessels that allow heat to escape into the air. When you see elephants they are usually moving their ears back and forth. This fanning helps to dissipate more heat than if their ears remained still. The enormous ears of elephants act as cooling devices. The gigantic earflaps (which can measure up to 2 square metres (21.5 square feet) are equipped with an intricate web of blood vessels. When the animal flaps its ears, the blood temperature lowers by as much as 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). To keep cool

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A midget walked under a bar.

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Christianity

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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You remind me of something. What? Summer Why because I'm hot? no because there is no class..

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neil patrick harris

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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A seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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