What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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miley cyrus

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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penis

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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like for a handjob.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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