Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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Jews

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

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What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

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A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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why did the ginger get made fun of? because he had red hair

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

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A deaf, mute clown wearing nothing but a dead cat, a rainbow wig, and his own feces breaks into a couples home on April fools day. Then he murders them both because he is an escaped patient from an asylum for the criminally insane.

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Why is Justin Bieber better than Freddie Mercury? Freddie Mercury is dead. Justin Bieber is still alive. Also Freddie Mercury is ugly and Justin is hot.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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