when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? killing their parents first.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

What do you get when you cross a man with a horse? The Nobel Prize for your advancement of genetic sciences; centaurs aren’t real.

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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