Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hello Braydon

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down

Wanna see some more?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than eating cows. Death

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Chuck Norris is an average human being!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops