Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

This is an anti- joke

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -340

Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:Whats a similarity between your mom and your dad? A:They both hate you -Ryan V

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops