Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

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why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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Black people. They are so kind.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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