What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Donald Trump.

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( . Y . )

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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AIDS

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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