A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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Women's Rights.

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Penis

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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What do you call two black men kicking a ball? Soccer.

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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