- Anti Joke

Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? Nothing.She died on Thanksgiving day.

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops