What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Connor is homo

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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