A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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Your mom.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Cancer.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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