Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? Women's sports

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Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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Sac

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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