Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Wanna hear a joke? Yes Then go on the internet and find some jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo mama so old, she might die soon

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

What is worse than torture? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops