What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +35

There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What color is my lamp? Brown

thumb_up thumb_down -2

After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

And Stephen Hawking said.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops