There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

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knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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Im gay What about you

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What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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