how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

A priest, an iman, a rabbi, a bishop and a Dalai Lama walk into a bar. Because they were of different faiths, racial slurs were thrown back and forth until they all left. They spent the rest of the night and most of the following day unhappy.

A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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