1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

thumb_up thumb_down +12

gabbi nunez ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops