roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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