What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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I'm Jewish

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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