How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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Nathan likes butt games with African American men

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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3 jews sits in a car. Who drives? Not Hitler.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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Did you hear about the guy who came onto his best friend's wife? Yeah, she handed him some kleenex after and told him to wipe it off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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