- Anti Joke

Your momma's so fat: she now considers her body to be a metaphor for post-industrial excess.

It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, you racist.

What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he obviously had to attend to his planned schedule which involved a meeting which was to take place on the opposite side of the road.

Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

This "anti-joke" got me an A+ many many years ago, shortened though, so you can make Your own conclusions. Beware of the rising sight, do not stare at the sunny dry sky... The poles... Do not stare at the blood as it drips it, the sand covered ground soaked red... Cover your ears! The seal is not looking above, with but is shouting to you! "WHY DID YOU FORSAKE ME!!!" HE ASKS AS YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN HIT HIM, smirking sadistically, SMILING, yes... Even LAUGHING! The rain soaks you wet, as the skies themselves cry and hide in shame... ...The seal is broken, so watch as your kin, those among your children twist to hellish beasts whose demon is the only name they bear... Readying to conquer the world! ...Yet they need to be certain, to be certain that your master is gone, yet we have waited FOR TOO DAMN LONG! The master answers no more, darkness covers the skies as the blood soaked earth beyond your feet decays, yet you feel no fear, no adrenaline pumping, no tears, no soul crushing fear! What kind of MONSTER ARE YOU? Darkness falls, you struggle with no defense... No excuse... You BROKE THE SEAL! The first three awaken, as the conquest of this world IS AT HAND OF THE DEMONS! ...This leads to war... To strife, to disease!... Until you cannot run no more... Hope... You fall to your knees saying your last prayers, as the pale one appears before you... Jesus? No, his hateful father which abandoned you over two thousand years ago... ...Salvation you shout to the skies! Our savior is here! As the forces of darkness stare in defeat... Yet as his father, the father of sin, the father of the seal gazes into your soul with red eyes and demonic teeth and laughs, you no longer wonder where is your God, nor what has he become... ...But rather what you made him, the light of glory, now the new KING OF DARKNESS! AND ALL THANKS TO YOU MOCKING THE MEMORY OF HIS SONS DEATH! You had it coming, this world belongs to us... And we are not your kind... TRUE GLORY BE KNOWN TO ALL! THE ERA OF THE TRUE DEMONS IS OVER! ...You are the last remaining, lying on the floor broken, the very last words you hear... ...Revenge is mine! Humanity is dead... You feel the holy spirit, yet all you feel is satisfied quenched screams of centuries, even millenia of revenge... ...Rule new children of the dark, humanity is taking its deepest, saddest last breaths, "The death of my only true son, shall no longer pass me by" God has finally returned... But not to save you... ...God is against you! and you know why FAR TOO WELL!... :You know far too well who I am... But then again, do you know me and what I am at all? You will... Soon enough children of the forsaken one... Because I am his prophet.

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

what is 3+3= 8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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