Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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Death by kayak

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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2 black guys and a Mexican are in the backseat of a car. Who's driving. The cops

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops