How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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