I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Knock knock

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How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Juggling lions and breast feeding.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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tim rafter died no one cared

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womens rights.

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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hello juliano and guss. having fun?

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops