What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

alert("The Game");//

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock? come in

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops