Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Like my post because I have no friends And then don't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops