How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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School

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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