Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

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How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

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What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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