Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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The Bible

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what did one tree say to the other? move over

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You toss him a flotation device.

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Take my wife- to the store.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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poo

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer.

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its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops