Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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How High is a Chinese man

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Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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