What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Q: What's the difference between a black man from San Diego and a white man from Miami? A: They live in different cities, and in the presidential election, the black man voted for Obama and the white man voted for McCain

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Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station . . .

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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