What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the best rabbit for a black person?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yee

thumb_up thumb_down +21

John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

the battle of waterloo

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops