A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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