what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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Why do girls like Justin beiber Because he can sing good

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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