- Anti Joke

Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

Yo momma is so stupid people make fun of her for her learning disability

Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

woman's rights

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

Neil Lewis

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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