Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Miley Cyrus.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Two muslims walk into the bar, Everybody continues with their daily lives. One should not be judged by their race or religion as all humans on earth are as equal as one another and should be treated the same way..... And then the building blew up.

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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Your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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