What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

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There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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I remember in the 80's it felt like Bill Cosby was being shoved down my throat. He was always on TV with his show and those Jello commercials.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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