I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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squash squash who squash my ass

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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