What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

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toast points

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

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roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

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What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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