What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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I like the color potato.

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What number is funnier than 23? 24.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Who is Jim Wonderbread? A whorrible person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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