Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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Hi colton

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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Women's Rights

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Roses are black, violets are black, i am blind!

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What do you call a not as grumpy Jewish man in his mid 30s? Danny. What do you call 5 of his best friends? Arin, Suzy, Barry, Ninja Brian, And Ross. Another possible answer to the 1st question is currently not married.

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

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What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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