Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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Hello penis

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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jamie is a noob jamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noob

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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