What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

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Darude- Sandstorm

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Jojobas Witness open up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Nickelback

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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What is more funny than 8 babies in 1 bin? 1 baby in 8 bins.

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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