what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Who kille the Mockingbird? George Bush: i wish i could know the answer for this question, but belive me i am thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +14

troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

4 hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops