What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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women's rights

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Hi

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? He had his legs amputated. He'll never ride his bike again.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops