- Anti Joke

What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Crunchie

What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

A guy says a joke. It was not funny

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f*** n*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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