Rock mattress.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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The horse said "nay."

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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Justin Bieber

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops