What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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I can't see my forehead

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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I am awesome, you are not, i am awesome, you smoke pot!

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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