Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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-What's a real anti joke? -This.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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