When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus? Nothing, two different species cannot propagate and gene splicing isn't advanced enough to separate the specific traits of an organism.

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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A black man has a job.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at rhyming Refridgerator

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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