Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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I like to eat.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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