Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

thumb_up thumb_down

joke under this line wins _________________________

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A van drives into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +161

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops