What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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