I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross an l with a line? A t.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Deadly cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

thumb_up thumb_down +84

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do u stop sky from being gay. You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the man who killed his family? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops