Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

don't look behind you

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

What's the answer to all your problems The answer

Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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