What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Yo mama's so old, she might die soon

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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It's April Fools Day... APRIL FOOLS!!!

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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