What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

what do you call a black man in a car? -a person who passed his drivers test

fatest boner fatest boner fatest boner to adam ramsden

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

What's Blue and tastes like orange cake? A blue cake.

why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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