Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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A family of black people get onto a plane. The son said to his father: "Why do planes have wings?" The father then replied by saying: "To help them fly son." The plane's wing then fell off due to a building error, then the plane crashed and everyone on board was killed.

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I17. I17. I17. That was my best impression of a Bingo caller.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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