A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Why are black people so stupid an lazy? They aren't. This is a negative social stigma and if you believe it you are a racist.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

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Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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