Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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Poverty.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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rosie o'donald goes on a diet

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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