How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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This is an anti-joke.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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How high is a Chinaman

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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batman has diarrhea

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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what is worse then going to school farlingaye

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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