MICHAEL

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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