What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

well use a tissue!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops