What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops