Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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Your Mom

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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