How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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