A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

Bloody kids ...

what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

Why didn't he finish his

Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

When life throws knives at you, run away.

knock knock whos their a person

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: How should I know?

How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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