Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

If you like this, it will have one extra like

So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

why are you reading this? You are bored out of your mind and don't want to do you're homework. and now that you read this, you will realize what you're doing and will now get back to work.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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