you.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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I like pom

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4 strangers are shopping at the mall. The big one does a trick and then the small one was good. The bad was small like a tree, seven days later the short one was having a party with a pretty lady. To the teacher was morning and everyone did happy times.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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What did the cancer patient get for his birthday HIV

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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Not mine I want no credit...these were made by two genius's What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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