knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

why is this joke funny because your laughing

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...