Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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knock knock Come in!!!

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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69

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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