Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What rhymes with milk...milf

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down

Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops