What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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