what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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Golf.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Want to hear a joke? So do I.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no, and leaves.

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Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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UP

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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