How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

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why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

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Asians are ugly and they look they have down syndrome.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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