Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

HEY YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops