What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

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My nieghbor is blonde, but she doesnt like corn dogs or anything of that sort because her boyfriend is mexican. Mexcans are banned from eating corn dogs because they illegally crossed the border. Her dog wieghs about 8.9485763 pounds. Her nieghbor also protests corndogs because she cant fit throught her customized door which was 39 feet long. Why was six afraid of seven? because that lady is 700 pounds.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

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ha.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Yo momma is so fat that we are incredibly concerned for her health.

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What do you call a black priest who's name is John? Father John

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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