Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops