A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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what do u call a black persons face? a black persons face...

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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Q. What did the priest and the atler boy do in the back room of the church? A. Disscussed their feelings about the different meanings that could be derived from the daily scripture reading.

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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Whats green? The color green.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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