A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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A rabbai , a mexican , and a ginger are In a car going over a cliff. Which one dies? Who cares?

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have cancer."

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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