What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree ... Because it was dead

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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