Knock, knock. Come in.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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The Christian prayed every night to God for a new bike. He kept it up for a year. Finally, he got a bike for his birthday.

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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No your aunties a joke

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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My butt!!!!

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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