Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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AIDS

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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