What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

Women's rights.

Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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