How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven has an extra penis.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a dead Jewish girl that lay on the other side. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Sorry I am like so fucking wasted still, I keep giggling and laughing all of the time.

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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smell the vitamin C

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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knock knock you may come in

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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