Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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There is a middle-eastern man in customs with a turban and a briefcase and he is profiled by his race which is a sad fact of our society.

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It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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Q: Whats Worse Than 21 Dead Babies in a Trashbag? A: 1 Dead Baby In 21 Trashbags.

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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