I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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dj miky

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops