hi michael

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Popsicles

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a genetically disfigured fish please stop pollution.

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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gays

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Women"s Rights

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what will you have". The man says "Friendship" and bursts out crying. At this point he is making a scene and security will have too be called.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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