What's worse than accidentally biting your tongue? Hitler accidentally biting your tongue.

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Why is the sky blue? the game

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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Well educated black man.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops