What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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i have a christmas tree.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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No it isn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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