Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

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What do a dog and a tree have in common? BARK!

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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Religion

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Your Mom.

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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How do you scare a bonde? tell her you want to be her uterus?

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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25

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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