A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

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i hate you.

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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So a seal walks into a club.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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So dont touch it

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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What do u call a bunch of black dudes burried from their necks down? Afro-turf

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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