How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,066

A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Should a pole bump an alarm?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the moose cross the road? to eat the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops