How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops