Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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NEVER

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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What comes after 23? 24.

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want to hear a cat joke? i'm just kitten....

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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