Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The New York Giants

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

thumb_up thumb_down

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is 9 + 10? 21

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -132

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops