Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

thumb_up thumb_down

19 roosters walk into a roller coaster

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops