Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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69

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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