Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Stop Iran! We need the money.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Sex

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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who farted? umm........that guy.

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What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

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Enchilada

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What did the boy say to his friend? "Hello!"

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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