why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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a dyslexic man walked into a bar, ordered a beer, and no one was aware of his affliction

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Why did the fridge cross the road? Because Sally has no arms

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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penus

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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