why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

What is 6 plus 9? 15.

what rhymes with sloth? rape

What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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