What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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Buzi vagy!

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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