Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the Black Boy shot? It was because he was walking alone at night in a dangerous neighborhood, where there are many gangs. People should know not to go alone at night in dangerous places, or even in the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

69.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jake. Walsh.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops