How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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Fat? Jesse Z

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A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

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if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

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say sopha king together then sat funny at the end

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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