A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

Wumbo

Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

I think everybody ought to have a penis.

Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

p

: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

What's 21 and pregnant? Ariana Grande

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

What do you call it? Whatever it is.

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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