Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

Whats worst than the world ending? Charlie Sheen Not Winning

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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