When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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tim tebow is a grat quarterback

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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hello juliano and guss. having fun?

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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