Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Where are you going Your house

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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