Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I bet you read this. Told ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops