A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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9/11

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky how much do you like kids?

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How do you kill a blonde? Well there are many ways, but all of which are wrong because murder is illegal.

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. Bars serve people of all religions.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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I can't think of a joke.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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