what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart, Because they contain antioxidants and help to lower your cholesterol.

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

what is big round and fat? Your MOM

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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