Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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