What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Very few things are worse than this international tragedy Over six million people died, most of them tortured before they died. But stepping on a thumb tack is way up there

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Q: What's the difference between a mountain goat and a pitching wedge? A: A lot.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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