Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

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The black man leaves the strip club.

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What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

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Steven and Daniel are playing with super soakers in the back yard. Steven says to Daniel: "You can't squirt me!" Daniel says to Steven: "Yes I can!" Daniel is HIV positive.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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Girls soccer

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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