I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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where's mom I killed her

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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A priest, a rabbi, and a baleen whale walk into a bar. The priest says, "Well I believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God and my lord and savior, so I'll have some communion wine." The rabbi says, "Well I don't believe the messiah has yet walked the earth, so I'll have Manischewitz wine." The baleen whale says "EEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH"

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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