what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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The guy above me has a very nice joke

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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What do you find....... there's a..........

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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Q: Why did the man get stabbed? A: I don't know.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

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Q. What does physiks sound to most of the people? A. There were two camels, one was green, how much does the sand weight when its dark?

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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