Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

Knock Knock Come in!

Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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