watch a i d s left

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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Why? Whats wrong?

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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