Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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Q: What's grey and looks good on policemen? A: A stylish grey hat.

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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A horse walks into a bar... it was accompanied by a blind man for it was a seeing eye pony and the bartender who was not tolerant to blind people turned away the man causing him to recieve dirty glances from the kindly patrons of the bar.

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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Your mom is so fat that when she steps on the scale, it displays a very large number.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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i like boobs haha ha hahaha

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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Which is Taller ? the Giraffe or the Lion is faster ?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know where i was going with this one.... Refrigerator

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? So he can eat it.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Why was the swing in the kitchen?

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So this guy walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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