What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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What is something you would not normally find in a china cabinet? Japan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

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Slavery lol

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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