God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

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what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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