I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

What is the saddest part of a Jew's life? The fact that every single day the world turns more and more 'jokingly' anti-semetic until the point that the Jewish people have become so overwhelmed by depression that they begin committing suicide until the point of Jewish extinction.

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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