Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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What do you get when a white person and a black person make a baby? A possible high functioning member of society.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Sex. That is all.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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Did you know?

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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