Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

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Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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