What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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Working hard or hardly working????

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Cracked.com the only (depressive) "humor" site.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what's the difference between a duck?

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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