What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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Why was the mom happy cause her daughter had an abortion

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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Can you guess what one black child got while passing through an all-white neighborhood in the middle of the night? Home safely.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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