What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

Why do black people suck? Because they're black

Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation. ~Yashar - pirater un compte facebook Peace out :)

Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...