how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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j

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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