What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Wanna hear an anti-joke?

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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