What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw a piece of food that looked yummy, and he wanted to eat it. Unfortunately, the chicken was run over by a car and died.

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Why do bitches love cheese toast? 'Cuz bitches love cheese toast

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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