You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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Irish sobriety

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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wat does say to another bird....... chirp chirp

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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I once did something.

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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a Jew had a small nose

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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