Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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Who is a better president, Bush or Obama? Both have their Pros and Cons.

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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