Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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i dont like attention whores lol

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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