What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

thumb_up thumb_down -86

A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops