A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops