why was the black man in jail? He stole food from a store due to the fact that his family was very poor and could not afford to fend for themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

you know whats weird about italians? their italian

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,291

Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops