How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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Knock Knock. *silence* Knock Knock.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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what is a bracket? a bracket

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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