A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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Well I think that anti jokes are stupid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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