What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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This is an anti- joke

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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N-E Pats never cheated

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

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Manchester City

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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