What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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Two parrots were sitting on a perch. The older one turned to the younger one and said "do you smell fish?" The younger one paused for a bit, and replied "do you smell fish?" Their owner had been talking about fish.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

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If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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