What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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Take wrong turns

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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