What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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r u smart..... or ur black

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

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A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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