A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Ol-ive

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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rishi is gay (coventry england)

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Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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