Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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69

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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