What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Charlotte Bobcats

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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your face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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