Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops