A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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I died shortly after writing this.

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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I pooped my pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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