Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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E= McVagina

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Which one is hardest?

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whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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