What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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Atheism

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A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

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Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

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What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

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Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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