An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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what is orange? an orange

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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