where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for grapes. The bartender explains to the duck that he does not sell grapes. Later that day, the bartender recounts the story to a friend; the friend advises the bartender to undergo psychological testing.

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

A chicken crossed the road.

why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

why did justin fuck alice and maliyah to have fun

How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...