What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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A man walks into a bar, and spends all his money because he is an alchoholic.

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Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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why did the kid die? his mom shot him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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