A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

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Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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