teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first one.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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co jo kurwa tocza?

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Why did little justin fall off his bike? because a terrorist threw a fridge at him

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Facebook How i met my mother

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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