Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

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Mitt Romney penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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Why did the Olympic gold-medalist lose his faith in God? Because he began to feel that the the reasoning that most religions were based on was fairly spurious.

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Jojobas Witness open up

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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