Why was sally crying? she was sad

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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A russian gives away vodka.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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