I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make your house smell bad? fart

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call an unfunny comment that demeans a group of people? Bigotry

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's red and can sing? Elmo

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Lets go Detroit Pistons!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops