What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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What's the difference between Vagisil and Black People? They are disgusting!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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A black man walks into a bar, and asks the barman for a pint of lager. The barman refuses to serve him because of his race. This causes the black man and any others in the establishment to leave, considering this appalling behaviour.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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