Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

Did you hear about the Blonde who jumped off a bridge? She died.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

whats long and black? a baton

Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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