Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

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Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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