Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A delicious and hearty breakfast that lowers cholesterol and is good for the heart

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Three men are walking and one falls over, he then gets up and continues walking.

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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A black guy walked into a convenience store. He then found what he wanted, and paid with his credit card.

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

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Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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Wanna hear a joke? women's rights. jaye clenton is a fag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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