What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Leave. Now.

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Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

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what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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