Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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What happens when you choke a smurf? It dies.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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