A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

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your mama is so fat she wears big pants.

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What is brown and sticky?

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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Get off my porch.

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Your mother is a man.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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