how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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What are jews without the holocaust? Alive

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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What's the difference between a mexican and a bench A bench can support a family

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack. She's dead.

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Burp

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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Obama

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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