What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock who's there? refelection reflection who? reflection in the mirror, it's you -lINDz@Y $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ s/0 to my B0oFrand J0rdan MiLaRR

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One time i was in north philly and bought milk, then i came home and drank it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common ? They are sports , except the Holocaust .

thumb_up thumb_down +312

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops