A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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there are three dudes one is white, one is mexican, one is black so a wizard says wish of something you want to be and jump off the roof. so the white guy wishes to be and eagle and jumps off and is an eagle the mexican wishes to be an owl and jumps off an becomes an owl then the black guy wishes he had to shit and jumps off and falls to the ground cause he turns into shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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