hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have cancer."

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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