When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Snarf Nuggets

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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Maths.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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Want to hear a joke? So do I.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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kcuf read it backwards

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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