Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Do you know what's the difference between a bicycle and a black man? A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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John and Henk are walking down the street. John kills a man, the cops are coming and John runs away. Why didn't Henk ran away? Henk was a rock

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

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Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "It sure is hot in here". The other muffin says, "Yeah like 350, 375".

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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Knock knock Who's there The mailman The mailman who? You are so dumb.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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