whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the plane say to the trade center on 9/11 boom

thumb_up thumb_down -2,359

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I saw a chameleon. Then it died

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Today is May 18 2016.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops