How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

so a kangaroo a piece of cake and a whale are all doing... ...nothing they would not hang out together

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops