What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

The WNBA

What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? Depends.

I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

Terry is at his job, when he drops his cookie on the floor. His coworker accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his coworker. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. Turns out Terry is black.

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...