Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Robert dupras dick size :3

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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