Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +148

Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

thumb_up thumb_down +1

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

thumb_up thumb_down +7

5

thumb_up thumb_down

so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops