What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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your father died

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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