Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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whats 2+2? 4

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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