what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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Bob: why didthe chicken cross the road? Tom: why? Bob: to get to your house Knock knock Tom: whos their Bob: the chicken

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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