What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? Learn to duck.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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