What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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Why did the young boy die from Aggressive cancer? ...Because there isn't a cure.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew. The elephant has elephant cancer.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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A group of 3 black male friends sit down to have lunch at the basketball court. One black man reaches in his pack and pulls out a watermelon. The second black man reaches in his basket and pulls out some fried chicken and a pan of cornbread. They both look expectantly towards their friend as he opens up his pack. Right as he opens it, however, his cell phone goes off. Upon completing the call, he hangs up and looks at his two friends. "My financial aid got approved, guys!" he exclaims. Both of his friends congratulate him on finally making it to college. They are so proud.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did one cannibal set to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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