Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

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Will gropes Ebola victims

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops