What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Do you know what I'd want to be if I wasn't white? Dead.

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A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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