A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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penus

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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