Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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Romney 2012

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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There was a man from Dundee. who's limericks always ended on line three. I don't know why.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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