Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i like turtals and kids

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

emma: mat has a quick reaction time

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops