Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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women have rights

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Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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Q. What happened when a man went to a bar? A. Nothing, The bar was closed.

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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