Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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Why did the plane crash? because there were two towers in front of it.

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

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Q:What the worst lie you have ever told??!!???!?!?!?!? A: I have read and agree to the Terms and Service

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Your mama's so fat, that she died of diabetes

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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