Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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the holocaust

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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A Chinese kid fails his math test.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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A man goes to the potty.

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A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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