Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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Gay rights

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Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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