Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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i tped this with my toiung. now i hve germs

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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