What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

your all shit at jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

thumb_up thumb_down

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

(insert antijoke here

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +6

vagina, hehehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops