How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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Knock, knock. Come in!

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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