What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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I'm rick james bitch

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops