. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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TELL

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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Whats 9+10? 19

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What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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