Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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