Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

Andoni was here

Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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