Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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