What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

thumb_up thumb_down +3

mark lawson likes boys

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call two black men sitting on the porch? Craig and Smokey

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Watch this summer, as General Jack Ryu, attempts to fight his way across the jungle only known as "The streets" as he seeks to save Mary.Bison from the evil clutches of Master Jamie Ken in this epic written trailer! Jack Ryu: So we are brothers? Jamie Ken: No, I am your failed clone! I spontaneously begin burning from me feet and hands! WHHHHHHYYYY WAS I NOT THE CHOOOOOSEN ONE!!!!!! Mary B: Ryu... He is the fifth! THE FIFTH HAS ARRIVED! Jim "Dan" Daniels: Yes certainly, it is well within my scientific genius to create the fifth, yet my former associate Bob Sagat lost an eye in an explosion... CAN JACK RYU SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE MOST DEVASTATING BOMB IN THE UNIVERSE: THE AKUMA BEFORE JAMIE KEN UNLEASHES IT? CAN JACK RYU... FIGHT TROUGH THE STREETS... AND LIVE UP TO THE FIFTH AND SAVE MARY BISON? ALL DEPENDS IF HE CAN CONTROL HIS INNER CHUN LI! STREET FIGHTER V: rEVOLUTION

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I have read the terms and conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -3

so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -285

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get two whales in a car? You can't. Whales are very large creatures and cannot fit into anything that size.

thumb_up thumb_down +451

What's worse than an STD ridden Blonde Crack Whore? a black

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's there

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops