What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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yo mamas so ugly she turned madoosa into stone

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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