Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

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There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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why did the chicken cross the road cause he was suicidal but a car just didnt happen to hit him.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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