your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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kevin kim

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Double rainbow? What does it mean? Well, a "double rainbow" is a phenomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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