What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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69

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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