2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

Knock knock Who's there? What.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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