What ryhmes with turtle rape

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Knock knock. Death.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

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Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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