Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

A man came up to me and said," you suck" You know what I told him "YOU SUCK!"

wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

roses are red vilots are blue in soviot russa poem read you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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