How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +65

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Black people stink of shite!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How high is a Chinaman

thumb_up thumb_down -29

(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

thumb_up thumb_down -32

teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops