What is 4 letters and made out of wood? Wood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Lacrosse

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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Woman rights.

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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