What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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you know its foggy outside when you step outside and its foggy outside.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Q: What did the mentaly retarded kid get on his IQ test A: Drool

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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