Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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I agree

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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A man walked into a bar. Ow!

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Knock Knock Whose there? Me! Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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