I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ain't idn't a word.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You just read this ..

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Burp

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops