What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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matt is fat

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

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The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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