How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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Terrorist jokes make me explode with laughter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

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Gestapo.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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