Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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where wally? wallys a myth.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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