- Anti Joke

Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

What happened to the fish? It drowned

What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

Q: Why do police men keep killing unarmed black men? A: I don't know.

3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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