No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

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What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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you put the chevy to the levy when your pants fell heave diarea

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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