What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

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who eats pencils asians

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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Obamacare!

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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I love you

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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Do you like apples? Yes

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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