a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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What do you call a prison inmate with no arms or legs? John. That's his name.

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whats black and white and red all over? a zebra crossing after a horrible, horrible car accident

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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