A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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I don't get it

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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hi patrick

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Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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What do you call 6 white men on a bench? The NBA

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Why are elephants ears sooo big? The big ears are to help the elephants stay cool. Elephants don't sweat, so they have a hard time dissipating excess heat (keeping cool). Their large ears contain many blood vessels that allow heat to escape into the air. When you see elephants they are usually moving their ears back and forth. This fanning helps to dissipate more heat than if their ears remained still. The enormous ears of elephants act as cooling devices. The gigantic earflaps (which can measure up to 2 square metres (21.5 square feet) are equipped with an intricate web of blood vessels. When the animal flaps its ears, the blood temperature lowers by as much as 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). To keep cool

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? .

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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you

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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