Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Ken wins!

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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There are a black guy and a Mexican in a car, who`s driving? The cops

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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