Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

thumb_up thumb_down +8

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

thumb_up thumb_down

My mum is called Steve

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops