What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

trumpy trumpy trump

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Get on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between boyscouts and jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

a man walks into a bar and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What the person say to the other Person? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

thumb_up thumb_down -11

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops