What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

thumb_up thumb_down +30

hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

3 blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The 1 blonde says they're deer tracks. The 2 blonde says they're elk tracks. The 3 blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops