A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

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What is more worse than death? Death

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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