What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

thumb_up thumb_down +189

A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock --Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

thumb_up thumb_down +60

why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a group of teenagers are laughing at a boy around their age when on says "youre stupid" the boy then replies "i prefer the term Autistic"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

42

thumb_up thumb_down -22

little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

thumb_up thumb_down -2

J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops