guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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What's worse than not finding your true love in high school? Dying

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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whats white and gooy liguid goop

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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