A baby seal walked into a club.

An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

Women's Rights.

this is not a joke.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

What is a name of a kid with down syndrome. Adam Hebeison

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...