A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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homework

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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