What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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