A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Q: How do you get a black guy out of a tree? A: You cut the rope.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was i said when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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