how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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Shltskc gw? G

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How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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A horse walks into a bar... it was accompanied by a blind man for it was a seeing eye pony and the bartender who was not tolerant to blind people turned away the man causing him to recieve dirty glances from the kindly patrons of the bar.

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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