A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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