A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Knock knock Who's there? Micheal Jordan. Micheal Jordan who? Your an idiot

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Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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this site is funny.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

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Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the black guy punch the Mexican guy? Because they were in a fight.

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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