A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops