Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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Guess what What

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Hey, the eighties called, they were really excited about inventing a phone that could call the future.

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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