A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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women's rights.

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A dog was barking at a tree

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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