Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sam Hengal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops