Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Barack Obama.

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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