Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

oh hiya come in

Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

Get off my porch.

Lebron Traveled

What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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