Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

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shut up elliot

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ur gey

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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What happens if Chuck Norris meets a Transformer? Nothing. They would converse, then go their separate ways. Or Chuck would get killed. Horribly.

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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