What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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whats the difference between the same pair of shoes? one shoe is for the left an one if for the right

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What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

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Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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This anti-joke below is hilarious.

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Whats a blind catholics biggest fear? The priests power of chris compelling him

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops