What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

how do you call someone? use a phone

One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

Robert supra not deep throwing kaleb law wrench

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

Q: What do you do when you see a half dead black guy on your front lawn? A: Call the ambulance because he is dying

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...