How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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25

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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Your Mom.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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