When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

shea kisses a girl

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

yo mamas so cruchy people might mistake her for a cheeto!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +61

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! *stare*

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops