Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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Your sex life.

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Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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what do you call your cousin drew? drouchebag

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops