Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops