"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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homework

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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How do you get pikachu on a bus? You don't pokemon are fictional characters

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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What do you get when you mix tea and sugar? sweet tea...

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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