How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

Womans baksetball...

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

Roses are brown I like clouds this joke isn't funny so don't laugh..... Oh an I am trying to get the most dislikes so whatever you do don't like it:(:(:(

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

123 Main street

Everyone was standing in a bank happily Three muslims walk in Everyone continues their everyday lives coz we live in a non racist society and nothing could go wrong Then the building blew up

Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

for keeps?

a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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